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Honey Baked Ham Changes Name To Honey Baked Listeria
by Mark on 11/26/2006 (0) 
 | | Look, Concordia! It's a Honey Baked! | | In a trademark ravaging event unseen in scope since the discovery of Benzene in Perrier bottled water in 1990, the Honey Baked Ham company has recalled 47,000 lbs. of ham and turkey products because they could be contaminated with the dangerous bacteria Listeria. The products were sold through the company’s catalog, on the Internet and at stores in Toledo, Ohio.
"This is gonna cost us!" Bemoaned Honey Baked Ham spokeswoman Sarah Yee. "A big part of our success is in using highly descriptive, adjective rich ad campaigns that take full advantage of the best the thesaurus, glossy acetate mailers and tasty culinary evoking imagery have to offer. I mean, we've got 'honey', 'baked' and 'ham' all in a row! You can't beat that with a smoked beef log, for sure!"
Unfortunately, the addition of the scathingly negating word 'Listeria' has unwittingly been added to the Honey Baked dossier, one that may prove very, very difficult to shake.
"*Sigh*...Yes, yes it's true. This one is a reputation killer to be sure. We decided to nip the issue in the bud and change our name to 'Honey Baked Listeria' instead. At least 2 out of the 3 words in our trademark offset the negative one, and as you know, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!"
No word is out how long Honey Baked will follow the abrupt change in company nomenclature, but Mcdonald's and Burger King have shown preemptive interest in changing their names to 'McDingleberry's' and 'Botulism King' if the call ever arisesone
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