Beverage Store Employee Tries To Give A Flying Damp Crap About What Kind Of Wine You Want To Buy
on 12/5/2006 (0)
TUSCALOOSA, AL - Hobie Potts, Tuscaloosa Beverage store employee, recently admitted that he generally "doesn't give a single hair off his ample-sized, chair-ridden ass" when it comes to the fine wine selection you asked him about last night.
"Oh, you want a nice wine to compliment your chicken dinner? Try this 1984 DuBois Chardonnay, I'm getting tired of dusting the oaky fucker, anyway." Potts thoughtfully offered. "Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, who gives a rat's ass? They all taste like cat piss to me."
Potts admits that his own tastes trend toward domestic beer, but happily confessed "Sometimes I like to chug a rare vintage 200 buck Chateau Lafite Burgundy right from the bottle and offer some to the next rich bastard who comes in here without even wiping the mouth. You should see the expression on their uppity, sour-ass mugs. It's almost the best!"
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