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Study: Overweight Rich People Think Their Fat Is More Valuable Than Yours
by Mark on 12/31/2006 (1) 
 | | It's perfectly tasteful to be fat as long as it's gourmet fat, Monsieur!" | | (AP) A recent study by the Affiliated Weight Association has shown that rich overweight people consider their blossoming body sprawl as merely "perfectly vindicated and simply more socially redeeming" than yours.
"Overweight rich people think they have a tasteful, justifiable reason for being overweight." Professionally observed AMA spokeswoman Bernice Barrows-White "The patients I work with who are rich are adamant that their burgeoning beltline or sagging mountainous boobs are simply a sign of financial success, and not of reckless caloric consumption gone wild. Most feel that if they got fat eating New York Strip Steaks, English Cheddar Quiche, Praline Pecan Pie and Godiva Chocolates, the predictable end result has far greater social status than a poor person who gets fat on canned Spam, Hot Dogs, Mcdonald's Cheeseburgers, white bread or American Cheese. I have the hardest time convincing people that once food enters your system, it could care less if it costs 10 dollars or 25 cents pound. Fat is fat, period.".
Conversely, it was also demonstrated that poor overweight people found their obesity to be less socially valuable than a rich persons obesity as well.
"Not surprisingly, poor overweight people tend to have a low sense of self-esteem because they feel that their accumulated body fat isn't as valuable as a rich persons body fat. They equate financial prosperity with more sophisticated foods, and feel that unless they are gaining weight through what are conceived to be 'up-scale' or 'gourmet' fatty foods, they have less status, and hence redeeming social value, than their richer obese counterparts."
Barrows-White cautioned that overconsumption of any source of fat can be equally deadly, and that the illusions we weave around status, or lack of status, of certain foods can mislead some individuals into a false sense of justifiable dietary complacency that can eventually result in heart disease, diabetes or worse.
"We've also found that when a rich person gets drunk on Perrier-Jouet Champagne or 100 year old peat-smoked Scotch, and then gets busted driving their Jaguar home from a party, it isn't the same 'quality level' DUI as a poor person drinking two 40 oz Colt Malt Liquors and driving home from a seedy bar in their rusty 1984 Chevy Cavalier, but that's not what the cop who stops them thinks, to be sure."
Rich overweight clients also claim that their body wastes and gaseous effluvia are more subtle and less offensive odorwise than those generated by their poor overweight counterparts as well, although Barrows-White cautioned: "that's another study for another time."g/tds/go.php?si
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