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Blazing Hot Habaneros Haunt Local Household
by Mark on 1/2/2007 (0)

¡Mi Dios! ¡Es la Pimienta de Diablo!
TABASCO, IL - The pungent, burning-oily residue of a plastic baggie full of fresh Habanero peppers "continues to haunt our house weeks after it was purchased and placed in the butter tray of the refrigerator" according to desperate, teary-eyed, Tabasco, Illinois resident Sabina Scoville.

"G-Get this...this...thing outta here!"

Bawled Scoville between swabs of tissue and futile cooling gulps of quenching water

"My husband Arnie bought a bag of the horrible things, and used a few tiny pieces in a pot of beef stew, and now the oil is all over the house! I can't open a closet door or use a fork or frying pan without getting the stuff on me, and when I touch my hands or eyes, they burn for hours! This has to stop! Either the peppers go, or I go! *sob*!"

Indeed, Scoville is not the only one.

All across the land, hot pepper enthusiasts routinely purchase and consume that hottest of all peppers, the Habanero, and its milder cousins, the Chili and the Jalapeno. While classified as a Chili itself, the Habanero is not just any Chili pepper, it is the hottest Chili on the planet. The pungent, burning Habanero has had many uses throughout history, including, and not surprisingly, as an instrument of torture for use on prisoners, thieves and unfaithful spouses and as the active ingredient in incapacitating gasses, up into, and including, Grizzly Bear repellent.

It is not clear what the appeal of hot peppers truly is, but most Habanero enthusiasts claim it to have a unique flavor like no other spice, aids digestion, compensates for bland flavored and textured foods, or is simply a quasi-masochistic culinary challenge to eat that smacks of reckless manly bravado. In any case, Habaneros must be handled with care. Their intensely burning and persistent oil is detectable in milligrams, and can singe the eyes and skin when wafting from a cooking pot, or merely and inadvertently transfered to household objects and appliances.

Arnie would eventually cave in and dispose of the controversial Chilis, but a similar ruckus would unfold in the Scoville household regarding potpourri scented candles, sachets and diffusers later that same month.


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