Local Automated Traffic Camera Captures Image Of Man's Speeding Ass
on 1/5/2007 (0)
FRENCH LICK, IN - A newly installed automated traffic camera system, designed to autonomously obtain photos of speeding motorists license plates, and issue citations along with hefty fines via the mail, was recently "clogged with vulgar photographs of angry drivers derrieres" according to French Lick police officer Johnny Miranda.
|Smile, you're on Candid Asscam! |
"Yeah, yeah, very funny. We've been getting this a lot lately. I know that no one likes to pay speeding tickets, especially when they're being handed out by a machine, but this isn't the adult way of doing things. If I see one more wise guy's ass in these photos I review, I'm gonna start issuing citations of my own with the steel tip of my boot, dammitt!"
Recent photos reviewed by the French Lick P.D. included bare naked butts, some festooned with painted on lettering, brashly proclaiming "insert correct change" or "fingerprint this!", vexing official efforts at tracing and apprehending the culprits.
"Keep in mind that exposing your backside might seem like a funny way of getting even, but it's also public indecency, and you can get a ticket for that too. My advice is to take it up with your local congressman, whomever he or she may be, and slow down and be safe. That's what this is really all about, anyway."
In spite of Miranda's sublime suggestions, the butt picture plague would continue in French Lick, until "they ditch the cameras, or my shining, high formula, chalupa fueled ass breaks the land-speed barrier" according to bewitched and fuming local resident/auto-speeding ticket recipient, Chuck Finch.tp:/
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