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Portly Pooch Flunks Diet, Perplexed Owner Passe
by Mark on 1/23/2007 (0)

Oo ye yi!
FRENCH QUARTER N.O. - Gumbo, a floundering French Quarter, N'Orleans pet Daschund, has his concerned owners "befuddled, yet oddly amused" about his obvious inability to stay on his 2 cup a day Bil-Jac dog food diet.

"Gumbo jes' got an ahnvee for some Boudin, dat's all!" Pondered the chunky canine's owner Breaux Babineaux. "Down in Lousiana we got a sayin,' better eat all dat' good food fast, cause' it may never pass this way again! I guess Gumbo know dat' all too well!"

In spite of urgent advice from veterinarians to pet owners to monitor and limit their pet's caloric intake, countless dogs and cats across America are falling into the obese category more and more frequently. And just how is this happening? A dog or cat can't take a can of food from the cupboard on it's own, of course, so non-compliance is clearly on the owner's part, and the owner's part alone.

"We been feedin' him just what the doctor ordered. 2 cups o' day, nothin' more. He gettin' so big is a mystery to me, Oo ye yi!"

Of course the reason behind Gumbo's shocking weight gain wasn't the 2 cups a day of Bil-Jac that Babineaux was feeding him, but the fact that Babineaux's wife, Calinda, was also feeding him two cups a day when he was at work, along with mountainous heapings of Boudin sausage, Grillades with Jezebel Sauce and King Cake, not always in that particular order or unmeasured quantityone">

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