White House Claims The Iraq War Is Not The Worst Mistake They Have Made
on 2/20/2007 (0)
Washington, DC - The White House on Sunday firmly disagreed with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's claim that the Iraq war was "the worst mistake" in U.S. history and was quick to point out even worse mistakes that it had made and planned to make.
|"We've made mistakes in the past, we've made mistakes in the future!"|
"This war is a serious situation," Reid said Saturday. "It involves the worst policy mistake in the history of this country. ... We find ourselves in a very deep hole, covered in our own feces, and smelling heavily of urine. We need to find a way to dig out of it and get to a shower as fast as humanly possible."
White House press secretary Tony Snow disagreed.
"Worst mistake in history, hell son it's not even the worst mistake our Administration has made," said Snow. "Remember when Dick Chaney shot that guy in the face? How can Iraq be worse than that?!?"
On February 11, 2006, Cheney mistook a 78-year-old Texas attorney for a quail and filled his face, neck, and upper torso with birdshot pellets from his shotgun while hunting on a southern Texas ranch. This is very unlike the situation in Iraq, where the majority of Bush's Administration was fully aware Iraq was a country, not a small flighted bird.
"Don't forget when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and we just sat on our asses and watched the destruction unfold," said Snow. "In hindsight, acting quickly could have saved thousands of lives but that didn't see very important at the time when compared to a scorching hot game of skeeball."
Snow even looked back to the early days of the Bush Administration to further discredit the Democrat's damaging claim.
"Remember when 9/11 happened and the President just sat their reading children's books to that class in Florida? And remember all the warnings we ignored? Man, Michael Moore really got us good on that debacle! How Bush was reelected after that is a mystery to me."
Still not satisfied that his point had been proven and having another ten minutes to fill at his press conference, Snow began to talk about mistakes that the Administration was planning to make.
"You may have heard that we're planning to build a wall to keep out illegal immigrants from Mexico," said Snow. "What you haven't heard is that the entire wall will be made out of tortilla chips due to their low cost and easy availability. The Mexicans will quickly eat through our wall though, a scenario in which we all predicted but ignored nonetheless. This will allow illegal immigrants even easier access into our country but in a sad twist of fate, it will also fatten them up to a point where they can no longer perform the hard labor tasks that America so desperately needs them for."
While Reid remained steadfast that Iraq was the worst of these mistakes, he did not disagree with Snow that the Administration had in fact made many serious blunders.g/tds/go.php?si
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