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Latin Americans Protest Bush Visit, Clean Water, Paved Roads, Medical Care, Everything Else American
by Mark on 3/14/2007 (0)

Bush go home! Bush go home!...whoops! Wrong sign!
SAO PAULO, BRAZIL - A vitriolic, uproarous protest aimed at American President George W. Bush's recent visit to Latin America focused not only on Bush's perceived imperialist ambitions, but on the entire North American lifestyle, including "clean running water, child labor laws, cheap plentiful food, paved roads and democratically elected officials as well."

"Who do these impetuous Gringos think they are, coming down here boasting about their sensible building codes and safe electrical wiring in our country?" Snarled Sao Palo resident Luiz Armando Ortiz "Just because they think they are so clever with their little reforestation projects and have a crime death rate lower than our malaria death rate doesn't mean we need their meddling down here. We can get along fine without them, or their top-notch medical care, or sewage treatment plants too!" Ortiz choked through gulps of mercury laden local beer and clouds of burning rain forest haze. "I pull my own teeth, and I'm that much more proud and muy macho because of it!"

The Bush protests coincided with recent local resistance over raising the age of consent in girls to 11, and banning the over-the-counter sales of Percodan and Valium in drug stores, although Ortiz confessed "Sometimes it's as easy as flipping a protest banner over. They are painted on both sides, and work for everything and anything, you know!"isp

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