2009 Year in Review
on 1/6/2003 (26)
These days, you can find literally hundreds of newspapers, magazines, websites, and television programs doing various "2002 Year in Review" pieces. We here at Smooth Operator pride ourselves with doing things different and having free parking at our offices... but mostly with the different thing. It is for this reason that we decided not to do a 2002 year in review, but to rather beat all other media to the punch and give the people what they really want, the "2009 Year in Review"! Here is a run down of the various important happens to occur in this very eventful year.
Flying Cars finally Arrive
|Artists rendition of the future of travel. |
After years of speculation, mostly caused by wild claims of Presidential hopeful Pat Buchanan and early science fiction books which said we would have flying cars before the year 2000, the first flying cars are released in North America. Consequently, flying car related deaths are nearly tripled. Still, people love the freedom brought by flying cars and their sales "soar".
US vs. Canada began the Space Race to Mars
The United States of America and Canada enter into a heated battle to be the first to put a man on Mars. Initially Canada is thought to have won when they broadcast footage on television of their spacecraft landing on Mars. Later review of the tapes indicate an igloo in the background of the footage and that the spacecraft that they used was also an igloo. Further review reveals that the video is actually of two Eskimos dog sledding from the igloo in the background to the igloo in the foreground, presumably for the purpose of some sort of strange Eskimo orgy. After this revelation, many realize Canada does not even have a space program. George W. Bush Jr., now out of office, claims that were he still President, he would "Bomb the hell out of those communists."
Al Gore claims he invented the Wheel
After inventing the Internet, former Vice President Al Gore lays claim that he invented the wheel years ago when playing in his backyard as a child. He invented the wheel in order to aid the transportation of his G.I. Joe soldiers on their way to stop the evil Cobra Commander's plans of total sandbox domination. Gore attempts to force all manufacturers that use wheels to pay him royalty fees. The Supreme Court simply laughs at Gore. General Motors, confused about the ruling, ceases production of all normal cars and focuses solely on the flying car market.
Elvis still dead
While many hope for the King's return, it has yet to occur, even though remix versions of his songs (include a new mix by noted dead communist Joseph Stalin) clutter the music charts and rake in millions of dollars. Many claim that he is alive and well on an Alien UFO. Aliens claim this isn't the case, though he did visit once in the 60's.
California falls into Ocean
After years of speculation, massive earthquakes rock California and it disappears into the Pacific Ocean. Local sporting good stores have runs on boats and life preservers but cannot meet demand required in this crisis situation. Millions of drowning deaths are blamed on lack of adequate safety procedures. Sporting good stores are now required by law to provide enough life preservers for everyone in the population.
Playstation 8 Released
Video Game fans rejoice as Sony releases the Playstation 8. This new system claims to accurately portray real life, all through the use of a special set of glasses. Later in the year, the glasses are discovered to be nothing more than everyday glasses. Millions of users are tricked out of $495 each and Sony laughs all the way to the bank. Playstation 9 is announced, which Sony pr
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