To Anyone and Everyone Sick to Death of the Senseless MySpace Debate
Nowadays, it is not uncommon to hear pundits and politicians proclaiming like prophets that we must save our souls. Poverty and disease choke the hope out of areas torn to shreds by powers that rival God. Violence and crime appear on every street corner and every television screen. Money and lies have replaced freedom and ingenuity in even the most wholesome of institutions. It seems the only thing left holding our fragile planet together is the overwhelming sense of despair shared by its inhabitants. But why? What horrible act of humanity could have spurred such a profound and pervasive punishment? Only one answer seems fitting: MySpace. It is no secret that the website, since its creation, has incited constant controversy and debate, but how many know of the damage done by this internet terror and who can stop it?
Supporters of MySpace often preach that the website is only a tool and it is people that may make it either good or evil. However, one must remember this was the same argument used in favor of such dangerous commodities as electricity, radio, robotics, and the internet. What possible good could come from staying in touch with old and new friends from varying locales, as well as your favorite bands and comedians?
Upon registration, the typical MySpace user is forced, at gunpoint, to upload highly personal information, directions to their house and school, as well as various incriminating photographs complete with sexually suggestive poses and the use of drugs/alcohol. Numerous theories have also arisen concerning the website and its harmful effects. Cancer and migraines have been attributed to frequent visitation of the site and the symptoms following a sudden halt mirror those similar to heroine withdrawal. Yet the website’s destruction is not restricted to merely personal plain. MySpace is also thought to have caused a number of atrocities such as the Holocaust, AIDS, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunamis, and Gigli.
Ignoring its obvious social and biological side effects, MySpace.com remains incredibly dangerous. Until it’s creation, human beings never had a means of finding other people in order to harm or stalk them. How could they? Unless you knew a person already, it was virtually impossible to find them. It’s not as if you could find people on the street, or look in a giant yellow book with their names, addresses and phone numbers in it.
Those addicted to this dangerous but alluring website claim that those who oppose it do so on the basis of vague fictions and fear-mongering, and that its destruction is no more than Darwinism at work, and to that there is but one response. Those people are lying, godless, freedom-hating Communists and if you believe them they will kill you.
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