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Kris

ProfileImage

Member Since: 11/9/2008 12:00:00 AM
Location: MADTOWN
Interests: NONE
Website: http://www.SMTHOP.com
Forum Posts: 45
Comments: 43
Submitted Stories: 474
Approved Stories: 474


Recent Forum Posts:

TopicPostDate
Most Popular Month!
by jaybake32
I can blow my own cock, it is 13 inches


Good for you! src="h
3/4/2010
Most Popular Month!
Since switching over to the new website layout, December 2009 has become our most visited month EVER (with two days to go!). Unfortunately I can't compare this to all time numbers (since the tracking system is different) but it's probably our high over the last few years (I think around 2004-2005 was our high all time).

So far we have 24,679 unique visitors this month... one year ago, December saw a measly 8,146 uique visitors.

There has been a steep increase in viewers/readers since October of this year (I'm not sure why, since we haven't been overly active writing, but people are coming).

Our Alexa ranking is aweful, which still surprizes me (my blog is ranked a lot higher but I know that this website gets three times the traffic).

Onward to 2010!ig
12/30/2009
Comments
Currently there are 3,154 to the 1,125 articles on this website...

My math isn't so good, but that sounds pretty close to three comments per article.

Sometimes (not too often for my ego's sake I hope) the comments are funnier than the stories are too.h
11/17/2009
2014 year in review
Is Leo Decaprio the new Pope? That would be crazy!i 11/9/2009
2009 Year in Review
Way back in 2003, I wrote the world's first 2009 Year in Review.

Now that 2009 is nearly over, this particular article (which has been on the net far longer than any other 2009 year in review) is number 2 in google and been pulling in a fair amount of traffic each mont.

The 2010 Year in Review is already out and who knows what's next... 2011, 2020, 3094...
11/4/2009
October High Month of the Year
Strangly together we totaled just one post, but October 2009 was our highest traffic month on Smthop.com in the past year, 22068 lucky souls visited our site.

Traffic numbers from earlier than this are a bit dubious, though I believe it was 2003 (maybe 2004) when Smthop.com was doing really well and easily eclipsed these numbers.

That was back when you were post a lot Mark and I was posting a little (unlike now where we both post a little)."0" s
11/4/2009
My Video Game
by Mark
Looks like good eatin', pard Steel.

Plus, you now are in the X Box game fold, and can ramp up from there. I've always been a fan of retro games, Duke Nukem, Jumpman Jr. and Shadow Warrior being my favorites.

It must be very, very gratifying for you to go full circle video game wise, from playing them as a poverty-stricken youth with incurable hydro-encephalitis to producing them. Congrats!

(you owe me 5 bucks+. so send me a free copy. Thanks!


Do you have an Xbox??? If you've got an Xbox and Xbox Live service (I think you just need the silver membership), I can get you a free copy of the game. Let me know.

It's good to have a game out there, something people are buying and playing and for the most part enjoying (except for one guy who straight up said he hates these types of games yet went forward to review my game). Over 5,000 people so far have played my game and several dozen have bought it... not sure to be happy or humbled by that.

I really enjoyed working on this, and since I can do it in my spare time, I intend to do more. now if only I could think of a way to promote smooth operator while at the same time fattening my wallet...
9/2/2009
My Video Game
http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/games/media/66acd000-77fe-1000-9115-d802585502c2/

Available now for the low, low price of $5."0" style=
8/27/2009
Forged Iron Products
[Quote]Dear Customer:

We're currently looking for regional exclusive distributor for our heat forged iron products.

If you're interested in this opportunity, please let us know by emailing us to prog@homeironworks.com

For catalgoue request, please type "iron gate catalogue request" on subject line and send to catg@homeironworks.com[/Quote]

Apparently something about Smthop.com screams "We can sell your metal fense!". Crazy spammers.
8/14/2009
smthop infecting other countries
Let me know the just of that... seems the linking doesn't work... this forum doesn't have a lot of fancy features, it could use more. But given that almost no one uses it, my motivation to improve it is not highone"></iframe 7/1/2009


Recent Comments:

ArticleCommentDate
Republicans Admit Whatever Democrats Do is Wrong
Yeee haw!isplay:none">< 7/14/2010
Obama Health Care Package Success Hinges That Nothing Bad Ever Happens To America Again
Republicans shouldn't complain... they could have been involved in shaping the bill but instead they just tried to stop it (several high profile Republicans have said this much). This is what really is pissing me off... instead of trying to make the country better, they want to undermine the current administration. For instance there have been more filibusters by the republicans in the last two years than there were in the previous 20. Anyone that complains Obama isn't getting things done should look at the republicans efforts to stonewall his every attempt. He's tried to include them but it's to a point where he needs to just say "Fuck you guys, we've got the majority and we're going do this without you".tp 4/8/2010
Woman Lost in Parking Ramp for Four Days Found Alive
This article was inspired by the fact that I helped a lady in the parking ramp at work that got off on the wrong floor and couldn't figure out how to get out (our ramp only has exits on the first and third floors and both exits are on different sides of the ramp). It wasn't the first time I've seen anyone else stuck in there too.

Ramps make me a bit nervious too, but ussually I'm gone by 4 or 5 while they are still pretty full of cars.
3/8/2010
2009 Year in Review
Eerrie? Did he turn into a lizard creature?h="0" 11/4/2009
Democrats to Place Cake in Balloon, Hope Rush Limbaugh Floats Away
I suppose... there are still plenty of countries we haven't started wars with, dozens of important American issues that need to be ignored, and way too many cival liberties that must be removed.

Complain all you want about lack of really change by Obama, but realize that much of what he is tasked with doing is cleaning up the messes of the past 8 years, a financial collapse caused by Wallstreet / banks, and a healthcare issue that has been left unresolved for well over a decade.

That's a lot for anyone to do and not something that can be solved overnight.h="0"
10/19/2009
Democrats to Place Cake in Balloon, Hope Rush Limbaugh Floats Away
I would never take anything Rush said seriously. That guy is a baffoon.n.ru 10/19/2009
Some Really Great 99 cent Recession Busting Beers
Where's the PBR??? Voted best beer in 1869!h="0" 8/28/2009
Global Warming Supporters Call for End to 230 mpg Chevy Volt
Bush nor liberals or dumb consumers deserve credit for increased windpower or more fuel efficient vehicles. The credit really goes to exploding gas prices. I'm sure that if we cared, we could have had these battery technologies years (decades?) ago but gas was cheap and big vehicles were in.nemo 8/11/2009
Egghead Quote Contest
I suck at playing the drums, but at least it distracts people from my huge egg head.ne 7/29/2009
Area Liberal Girl Simply Can't Admit Global Warming Isn't True, Even If It Isn't
Al Gore is rolling over in his grave right now.h 7/27/2009


Stories by this user:

ArticleCategoryDateCommentsViews
"I'm right and you're an idiot" Named Official Slogan of the Internet
Tech 9/19/2008 (2) 2136
'No Sitting' Ban in Restaurants and Bars Lifted
Law 8/18/2004 (0) 5704
2009 Year in Review
Feature 1/6/2003 (26) 12525
2010 Year in Review
Feature 12/11/2008 (0) 1334
A better Superman
Editorials 7/15/2003 (3) 5590
A Smooth Operator Christmas
Editorials 12/18/2004 (5) 5850
A wild night: Alcohol, aliens, and canned food
Editorials 4/22/2004 (3) 10930
Adventure fans demand Sequel
Video Games 2/23/2003 (6) 7472
After Latest Allegations, Namco Demands Pac-Man Jones To Stop Using Their Name
Sports 2/26/2007 (2) 5908
AIG Stocks Soar after Posting Only $5 Billion Quarterly Loss
Business 5/6/2009 (0) 1762
Al Gore Admits Making Up Global Warming
World News 2/18/2009 (4) 3094
Al Gore Disputes Claims he is Fictional
Politics 7/28/2009 (3) 1096
Al Gore Seeks Royalties on Internet Usage
Tech 8/17/2008 (2) 4686
Alabama Votes Benjamin Franklin Their Favorite President
US News 8/24/2005 (3) 6063
Alien Life Found in Back of Fridge Behind the Ketchup
Space 9/30/2004 (0) 10252
Aliens find name Aliens to be Non-PC
Space 12/4/2002 (4) 5781
Aliens open Taco Bell Franchise
Food 10/9/2002 (9) 10019
Alzheimer Patients Donate Three Times as Much as Non-sufferers
US News 1/2/2009 (0) 734
Amanda Peet Pregnant, Tom Cruise Inquires About Eating the Baby
Entertainment 9/29/2006 (0) 4655
America's Love Affair With The Blue Car
US News 8/28/2006 (0) 5695
Americans Ecstatic About $10 a Week Stimulus
US News 2/27/2009 (2) 1772
Americans hate Maine, looks to defect to Iraq
US News 10/15/2002 (29) 15160
Americans Hate the Department of Motor Vehicles
US News 3/1/2005 (0) 5922
Angered Hussein Makes 'Kids In The Hall' Reference During Trial
Politics 9/12/2006 (0) 6884
Apathy Party Candidate drops out of Presidential Race
Politics 7/20/2004 (1) 7519
April 13th Marks National Push All The Buttons on the Elevator Day
US News 4/9/2006 (8) 9278
Are We Prepared for Y10K?
Tech 1/9/2009 (0) 5291
AskJeeves.com Involved in Murder Conspiracy
Law 1/27/2005 (2) 13061
Atari Jaguar Switch
Video Games 10/22/2002 (6) 11654
Author Legally Changes Name to Help Sell His Book
Business 2/24/2006 (0) 6114
Axe Murderers Give Hitchhikers a Bad Name
US News 8/9/2008 (0) 2824
Bag of Money Stolen from Rich Man's Car
Law 2/25/2005 (0) 6098
Bank robberies quick source of cash
Business 6/16/2004 (5) 10557
Baseball Hat Bandit Caught
Law 1/11/2005 (0) 6303
Beer Surpasses Dog as Man's Best Friend
US News 2/28/2007 (3) 8316
Better Now
Editorials 7/29/2002 (0) 3266
Bigfoot to be Democratic delegate
Politics 5/18/2004 (0) 5022
Bigfoot's Lemonade Stand Closed Due To Health Violations
Food 8/4/2005 (1) 4914
Bike Helmets Do Not Protect From Bears
Health 7/4/2008 (0) 6668
Blasphemous Praying Mantis shunned by Peers
Religion 7/19/2004 (0) 4326
Blizzard goes Virtual
Entertainment 9/20/2002 (1) 3484
Blood test results in, New York Yankees are Pedro's Daddy
Sports 10/17/2004 (13) 21440
Bloody Rein of Robot Garage to Begin This Month
Tech 2/6/2007 (0) 3079
Boat Anchor Gets Hate Mail for Palin Resemblance
Politics 9/25/2008 (1) 2393
Body Found in Vacant Home
Law 8/21/2006 (2) 2902
Boogieman proclaims ā€˜Camping is great’
Editorials 7/8/2004 (0) 3409
Boy Dumped After Losing to Girlfriend at Mini-Golf
Sports 7/24/2005 (37) 33907
Boy Fakes Coma After Parents Force Him to Eat Vegetables
Health 10/21/2004 (1) 11940
Boys Arrested for Depicting Classmates Enjoying 'Glitter'
Law 1/26/2005 (0) 5393
Britney Spears Shaves Head At Request of Zombie Overlord
Entertainment 2/18/2007 (59) 6830
Brunch Voted Best Meal Between Breakfast and Lunch
Food 1/2/2006 (0) 8254
Bush to UN: Join us or die
Politics 3/18/2003 (2) 5859
California Woman Finishes the Internet
Tech 7/20/2009 (0) 1004
Camel Sales As A Consumer Vehicle At An All Time High
US News 2/2/2007 (0) 3031
Canadian Binary Robots destroy Faketown
Editorials 2/16/2004 (2) 4287
Canadian Businessman Accidentally Buys Pittsburgh Penguins
Sports 10/6/2006 (0) 3662
Captain Crunch Has Trouble Being Taken Seriously
US News 8/22/2008 (0) 2329
Car Taken Into Custody After Running Down Owner
Law 5/23/2006 (0) 3518
Castro Temporarily Hands Power To A Potted Plant
Politics 8/1/2006 (4) 6374
Caves Are the New Cool Place to Live
US News 8/25/2008 (2) 1857
Cereal Maker Sues Serial Killers
Law 7/30/2003 (6) 5819
Chad Johnson makes bold new predictions
Sports 11/17/2003 (3) 5419
Charles Rogers to Work in Concession Stand to Repay $8.5 Million Debt to the Detroit Lions
Sports 10/13/2008 (0) 1318
Cheney Rampage Leaves Americans Fearful of Entering the Woods
Politics 2/16/2006 (1) 6408
Chicago Cubs ask for Do Over
Sports 10/18/2003 (5) 5196
Cigarette Miners
Editorials 4/8/2003 (1) 3244
Cincinnati Bengals forfeit rest of Season
Sports 10/30/2002 (28) 7039
Cocaine Pulled from Retailer Shelves, Will be Resold as Crack
Food 5/8/2007 (1) 2734
College students visit strip club
US News 4/20/2004 (1) 6045
Company That Institutes Mandatory Recess Experiences Record Growth
Business 3/27/2009 (1) 795
Company Uses Adult Diapers To Increase Productivity
Business 9/7/2006 (1) 4558
Comparison Test: 2008 Porsche 911 Turbo vs. 1997 Ford Contour
Feature 11/13/2008 (17) 2016
Consumer Alert: Don't Buy Roadside Beef
Food 5/27/2008 (0) 2152
Could the Moon be Square?
Space 4/9/2004 (1) 5599
Couple names child after Apple operating system
Tech 5/22/2004 (0) 10755
Cover Bums in Orange Paint to Make them More Like Traffic Cones
Editorials 2/2/2009 (0) 2274
Crazy Facts That You Didn't Know About Pizza
Food 1/29/2009 (0) 2027
Crazy Judge Bangs Gavel
Law 4/9/2010 (1) 454
Crazy Woman Goes On Dog Squeezing Rampage
Law 8/8/2008 (1) 2789
Crime a Bigger Threat Than Bunnies
Law 1/20/2005 (10) 12427
Cup That Hit Artest Suspended for Entire NBA Season
Sports 11/27/2004 (0) 5324
Curse of The Bambino Lifted, Curse of The Mummy Remains
Sports 10/29/2004 (1) 3511
Dan Kolb Saves Teammates from Rogue Water Cooler
Sports 4/26/2005 (1) 4094
David Beckham Coming to United States Causes Tidal Wave of Apathy
Sports 1/13/2007 (8) 5334
David Hasselhoff admits responsibility for Bermuda Triangle
Weather 8/4/2004 (0) 4581
Death Star sightings dot the Midwest
US News 7/2/2003 (3) 16613
Dell to Offer Online Customizable Baby Sales
Tech 3/3/2009 (0) 956
Democrats to Place Cake in Balloon, Hope Rush Limbaugh Floats Away
Politics 10/16/2009 (8) 1238
Derailed Train Wakes Hundreds
US News 12/10/2005 (0) 3953
Dick Cheney "Not Shot Anyone in the Face" Counter
Politics 2/16/2006 (11) 9175
Disappointed Kerry has harsh words for Ohio
Politics 11/4/2004 (3) 9856
Do Racing Stripes Make Cars Go Too Fast?
Tech 10/3/2006 (2) 7238
Don't Ever Forget your Emergency Repair Disk
Tech 10/17/2006 (0) 5181
DOS XP
Tech 9/14/2002 (9) 20364
Drugs, Wars, and Kidnapping Make Colombia a Top Tourist Destination
World News 8/2/2005 (21) 7992
Drunken Woman Loses Virginity
US News 3/10/2006 (15) 27279
Duck Stamp Misprint Sends Happy Customers to a Sex Chat Service
US News 9/4/2008 (2) 1571
Dude, you're getting a Gateway!
Tech 9/26/2002 (3) 9819
Earth Day Party Pictures
Picture 4/24/2005 (0) 1475
EarthLink to fight Fishing websites
Sports 4/15/2004 (3) 3490
Eddie Griffin Crashes Ferrari He Had No Business Driving In The First Place
Entertainment 3/27/2007 (0) 5473
Edgar Renteria On Pace for 324 Home Runs This Season
Sports 4/2/2007 (0) 4656
Egghead Quote Contest
Picture 7/23/2002 (1) 1010
Election Canned, Football to Determine Next President
Politics 10/28/2004 (1) 3463
Elmer's announces three new flavors of paste
Food 5/11/2004 (2) 5920
Embarrassed Carjackers Signs Up For Driver's School
World News 10/19/2006 (0) 5302
English Town Hopes to Reduce Crime By Banning Plastic Bags
Law 4/30/2007 (0) 3125
Fat Man Drops a Bomb in Airport Bathroom, Panic Ensues
US News 2/3/2009 (0) 1765
FDA considers ban on sale of Pez
Health 4/12/2004 (0) 5473
Fight Back Against Mother Earth on Reverse Earth Day
World News 10/28/2008 (0) 1357
Financial Crisis Not as Frightening as Giant Robot Killer Bees
Business 10/24/2008 (0) 2253
First Date Marriage Proposal Ends in Heartbreak
US News 12/28/2005 (2) 4963
Fish caught, family seeks revenge
Sports 4/29/2004 (0) 4815
Florida Braces for 18 Degree Storm of the Century
US News 2/4/2009 (0) 1404
Florida To Allow Use Of The Force In Self-Defense
US News 4/7/2005 (2) 4410
Football coach apologizes for offending Molemen
Sports 6/8/2004 (1) 4078
Ford Selling All Terrain Armored Transports in 2006
Tech 2/2/2005 (0) 8313
Former Vikings Coach Mike Tice Finds Relaxation With Traveling Carnival
Sports 1/27/2006 (0) 4211
Four more for Gore
Politics 10/4/2002 (0) 6042
Friday Mailbag - Christmas Edition
Feature 12/24/2004 (0) 4894
Friday Mailbag - Thanksgiving Edition
Feature 11/26/2004 (9) 6431
Friday Mailbag 1.16.2008
Feature 1/16/2009 (6) 698
Friday Mailbag 10.17.08 - Super Happy Spam Edition
Feature 10/17/2008 (0) 1084
Friday Mailbag 12.10.04
Feature 12/10/2004 (0) 3680
Friday Mailbag 12.17.04
Feature 12/17/2004 (2) 5796
Friday Mailbag 12.3.04
Feature 12/3/2004 (0) 3596
Friday Mailbag 4.15.05
Feature 4/14/2005 (0) 5766
Friday Mailbag 5.12.06
Feature 5/12/2006 (0) 7695
Friendly killer battles whales
Law 9/7/2004 (7) 5154
Frostbite Runs Rampant When Automatic Door Fails
US News 1/5/2006 (0) 5584
Future Burger King
Food 9/10/2002 (1) 3887
Gary, Indiana Deemed Too Cruel for Guantanamo Prisoners
Politics 6/11/2009 (0) 979
Gary, Indiana Officially Named America's Butthole
US News 5/21/2008 (1) 2328
George Bush Uses Wishing Well in Attempt to Secure Third Term
Politics 11/11/2008 (5) 941
Ghost of Christmas Past fired
Business 6/19/2003 (0) 6223
Ghost of Christmas Past opens spaced themed Mexican restaurant
Food 5/15/2004 (0) 7232
Giant Multicolored Dots Threaten United States
US News 10/9/2008 (0) 1895
Giant Pyramid Built in Suburbs Angers Neighbors
US News 2/17/2007 (6) 10960
Giant's Plaxico Burress Admits Shooting Himself in the Leg Was a "Bad Idea"
Sports 12/2/2008 (0) 1097
Global Warming Good, But Could be Better
World News 7/2/2008 (0) 2071
Global Warming Still Has Room For Improvement
World News 2/5/2007 (4) 4704
Global Warming Supporters Call for End to 230 mpg Chevy Volt
Business 8/11/2009 (7) 2365
Glue Sniffing increases likelihood of Bedwetting
Health 7/27/2004 (12) 7305
GM To Bet Bailout Money at a Vegas Casino
Business 12/22/2008 (4) 1208
Godzilla
Picture 8/7/2002 (0) 708
Golf-loving Volcano Threatens to Erupt after Hearing Tiger Woods News
Sports 12/15/2009 (3) 1422
GPS Leads To A Generation Unable to Read Maps and An Inevitable Canadian Invasion
Tech 5/1/2007 (0) 4738
Great Christmas Ideas For Your Robot
Feature 12/16/2006 (0) 5428
Great Title Attracts Visitors to Poor Article
Editorials 2/23/2005 (3) 4725
Guaranteed Weight Loss With The 'Eat Less' Diet
Health 3/14/2005 (5) 9653
Guy On Tracks Waving For Train to Stop Could have Prevented Crash
US News 9/15/2008 (0) 1373
Hopeless town destroyed by forest
US News 3/24/2003 (0) 5112
Hot or Not: Cartoon Characters
Feature 5/26/2003 (2) 5483
Hot or Not: Christina Aguilera
Feature 4/18/2003 (1) 5554
Hot or Not: Fruits
Feature 4/17/2004 (2) 3552
Hot or Not: Inanimate Objects
Feature 2/12/2004 (3) 3653
Hot or Not: Star Wars
Feature 4/2/2003 (1) 4613
Hot or Not: Video Game Characters
Feature 2/19/2004 (4) 18177
Hot or Not? Politicians Volume I
Feature 3/27/2003 (0) 3291
House Wins Big
US News 4/9/2007 (0) 4280
How to Kill a Wooly Mammoth with Items from your Home
Feature 1/21/2009 (1) 1293
Hungry Man Eats Neighbor's Horse
Food 4/27/2005 (0) 4059
Hurricanes in Florida caused by Weather Machine
Weather 9/14/2004 (1) 1117
Internet Stalker Agrees to be 'Just Friends'
US News 4/4/2005 (3) 4413
Interview with the NFL's Ricky Williams
Sports 2/22/2006 (14) 6879
It's Alive!
Site News 7/22/2002 (1) 3638
Jack Bauer Will Nap Sometime In This Season of 24
Entertainment 3/5/2006 (2) 5537
Jackson Verdict Vindicates The Right To Be Weird
Law 6/14/2005 (3) 4148
Jerks!
Editorials 8/28/2002 (1) 3314
Johnny B. Bald VS. The Gas Station Clerk
Feature 7/23/2002 (5) 6593
Johnny B. Bald VS. The Gas Station Clerk part II
Feature 8/29/2002 (6) 3712
Johnny Unitas Returns from the Dead, Wishes to Resume NFL Career
Sports 8/3/2008 (0) 1889
Kellogg's Loses Lawsuit, Can No Longer Claim Frosted Flakes Great
Food 1/9/2006 (1) 9108
Kenmore Retailer Donates Old Refrigerators to Playground
US News 11/15/2004 (2) 3908
Kerry outlines plan to stop evil robots
Politics 6/6/2004 (0) 3899
Kevin Federline is Stealing Our Honeybees
Entertainment 4/23/2007 (0) 5096
Kevin Federline Responsible for 29% of all Teen Pregnancy
Entertainment 8/27/2008 (0) 2396
Keys missing for 17 years found in couch
US News 4/6/2004 (11) 24388
Kindly Farmer Arrested for Brandishing Pitchfork At Prince Charles's Estate
World News 1/31/2007 (0) 2829
Kirk-Kahn Animation
Feature 5/5/2004 (5) 5529
Kitchen Crowbar
Tech 2/15/2004 (3) 5544
Kobe Bryant not to be traded to New York Yankees
Sports 5/24/2004 (0) 4810
Kris Kross Reunites as Wendy's Employees
Food 11/10/2009 (0) 1519
Kris Steele vs Kris Steele
Politics 3/13/2009 (1) 921
Latrell Sprewell Gets Summer Job at Burger King
Sports 5/26/2005 (1) 7930
Leafs Not as Good as Money
Business 10/6/2008 (0) 1188
Legitimacy of Burger King's Crown Called Into Question
Food 7/8/2005 (0) 7877
Let's Shoot All The Annoying People Into Space!
Space 9/15/2008 (0) 1647
Library Accused of Being Prejudice Against the Illiterate
Law 1/14/2005 (0) 11569
Local Man fears resurrection of 1985 Chicago Bears
Sports 12/30/2002 (5) 4960
Looming Total Lunar Eclipse Paralyzes Globe With Fear
Space 3/2/2007 (5) 5972
Loophole in Company Policy Allows for Drinking at Work
Food 5/17/2006 (0) 3494
Lost Man Stops and Asks for Directions
US News 6/7/2005 (0) 4266
Louisiana in Terror after Governor Announces $666 Million Stimulus
US News 3/13/2009 (0) 954
Lunchroom Bandit Still At Large
Law 3/2/2006 (0) 9141
Maine Residents Disappointed By Lack of Killer Storm
US News 9/29/2008 (0) 1264
Majestic Hubble Image of Birth of Stars Makes for Great Wallpaper
Space 4/26/2007 (6) 4932
Make Hundreds of Dollars Every Week Working at Work
Business 6/19/2009 (0) 1147
Man Attempting to Build Desk creates Atomic Bomb
Tech 11/2/2004 (6) 21622
Man Attempting to Capture Lightning in a Bottle Killed by Lightning
US News 11/24/2004 (2) 16452
Man attempts to one up Christmas with Supermas
US News 12/21/2002 (1) 4080
Man Builds Computer That Beats Dolphins at Checkers
Tech 3/22/2007 (0) 4421
Man Buying Star Promises Untold Reign of Terror over Galaxy
Space 6/17/2008 (2) 1850
Man buys new swimsuit for summer
US News 5/28/2004 (0) 3129
Man Calls Another Man a Snow Cone Machine
US News 5/11/2006 (1) 3119
Man Caught in Boots Rescued
US News 10/6/2004 (0) 2859
Man contracts SARS from IRC
Health 5/12/2003 (1) 9456
Man crashes Windows 98
Tech 5/19/2004 (0) 11306
Man crushed after not selected to be Kerry running mate
Politics 7/7/2004 (0) 3496
Man Faces Public Scorn After Inadvertantly Displaying Offensive License Plate
US News 2/6/2006 (6) 6193
Man Fakes Death To Skip Work, Shocks Co-Workers By Attending Company Softball Game
Sports 9/22/2006 (0) 4472
Man Finds Inner Peace Under His Bed
US News 10/27/2005 (0) 3436
Man In Glass House Throws Stone, Causes Thousands In Property Damage
US News 7/5/2005 (10) 12115
Man Living In Anytown, USA Bombarded With Mail
US News 11/29/2006 (0) 2619
Man Made of Money has No Excuse Not to Buy his Son Toys
Tech 12/9/2004 (8) 5933
Man Makes Hundreds of Dollars Working from Home
Business 3/30/2009 (0) 866
Man quests to destroy the Moon
Space 5/6/2003 (2) 3721
Man Raised In Barn Refuses To Zip Up Fly
US News 9/8/2006 (0) 2480
Man Rocket Jumping Blows Off Both Legs
Video Games 3/11/2005 (3) 10791
Man Sad After Garden Fails
Food 12/2/2009 (0) 741
Man Speaking Against Molemen Killed by Police
US News 2/4/2005 (0) 4318
Man Takes Uneventful Drive Through Countryside
US News 11/3/2008 (1) 1036
Man thought to be a Velociraptor shot 14 times by Police
Law 7/14/2004 (4) 36992
Man Who Doesn't Wait 30 Minutes to Swim After Eating is Killed by Shark
Food 7/19/2006 (1) 3984
Man Who Works Twice as Hard for Half as Long Fired
Business 9/5/2008 (2) 1635
Man-Chair Duo Wins Dance Competition
Sports 9/20/2004 (0) 3292
Mars once covered in Chocolate says NASA
Space 5/3/2004 (0) 3596
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are the Same Person
Entertainment 10/26/2004 (27) 50252
Maybe Your Real Problem Sleeping Is Fear Of Robots?
Tech 5/16/2007 (1) 3190
Media frenzy after man eats at McDonalds
Food 6/14/2004 (0) 5914
Microsoft Pays Couple to Name Child After Their Search Engine
Business 6/20/2008 (1) 2136
Microsoft purchases the Moon
Space 12/24/2002 (6) 5729
Minesweeper Review
Feature 2/13/2009 (5) 11570
Missing Brain Found by Fisherman
US News 2/15/2005 (2) 5230
Missing cupcake found eaten
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Missing Man Found on Toilet
US News 1/19/2006 (0) 4645
MIT Scientists Predict Man Will Go Number 3 By the Year 3000
Health 6/26/2008 (1) 2385
Money: Why we like it, Why we must destroy it
Editorials 10/24/2002 (3) 3526
MTV One Step Closer To Eliminating Music from Their Programming
Entertainment 9/17/2008 (0) 1387
Mutant Chinese Pigs Threaten America
World News 1/4/2007 (0) 3528
Mysterious Odor Linked to New Jersey Man
Health 1/9/2007 (3) 5007
NASA Ends Cheese Shortage by Trading Virgins to Martians
Space 12/6/2004 (5) 9907
NASA to Spend $311 Million to Destroy Harmless Comet
Space 12/15/2004 (0) 8583
NASA to use Space Shuttles to Kill Birds
Space 6/30/2006 (5) 7556
National Hockey League TV Ratings Lowest Ever
Sports 12/22/2004 (5) 8379
NBA Playoff Thoughts 2009
Sports 5/24/2009 (0) 824
Nerd Buys New Corvette, Still Can't Get a Date
US News 7/15/2005 (1) 3778
New All Brains Diet All the Rage
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New Camera Invented that Steals Souls
Tech 11/12/2004 (0) 3699
New Caves Found on Mars Could Solve Hermit Overpopulation Problems
Space 4/4/2007 (0) 5024
New Cult Created for Drinking Kool-Aid
Food 1/18/2005 (2) 7539
New Law Increases Difficulty of Selling Haunted Houses
Law 3/28/2006 (1) 4727
New Metric Alphabet Proposed
Tech 6/26/2007 (1) 5619
New Spiderman Villain Octomom to be Based on Real Life Octomom
Entertainment 3/31/2009 (0) 1531
New Video Shows Osama bin Laden Hit in the Crotch with a Football
World News 10/30/2004 (1) 12243
New Wider Screen Televisions
Tech 3/12/2003 (0) 3357
Newly Developed Jetpack Draws Attention of Supervillains Everywhere
Tech 7/29/2008 (3) 1711
Newly Discovered T-Rex Cousin Enjoyed Romantic Walks on the Beach
World News 12/11/2009 (0) 913
News of Arena Football League Canceling Season Reminds People that Arena Football Still Around
Sports 12/16/2008 (1) 866
NFL adopts 15-yard penalty for slouching
Sports 4/1/2004 (0) 3671
NHL Desperately in Search of a Scandal
Sports 8/27/2007 (2) 2635
Nintendo Unveils the Simplest Controller Ever
Video Games 9/21/2005 (8) 5595
No being rude near fences
Law 10/5/2003 (2) 3519
No one killed in Bancroft, West Virginia Today
Health 7/20/2008 (0) 1788
North Korea Threatens World Peace with Zombies
World News 6/1/2009 (0) 1271
Not My Crack Pipe Excuse Actually True
Law 3/7/2006 (3) 8262
Obama Promises Free Puppy as Part of Stimulus Package
Politics 1/14/2009 (1) 1145
Obama Win Bittersweet for Detroit Residents Hoping to Riot
Politics 11/5/2008 (19) 24121
Offended Canadians Seek To Shut Down Smooth Operator
Law 1/5/2005 (7) 5025
Offensive Article Offends the Easily Offended
Editorials 11/18/2005 (0) 6305
Oil Company Creates Car That Gets One Mile-Per-Gallon
Business 6/30/2008 (4) 2453
OJ Simpson Now Top Suspect in Natalee Holloway Disappearance
Law 12/20/2007 (10) 4259
Old People Farms
Health 5/9/2006 (3) 4546
On Tour with Satan's Left Nut
Entertainment 9/3/2002 (0) 3136
One Legged Man Wins Ass Kicking Competition
US News 9/7/2008 (2) 18558
Our new clothes
Site News 4/28/2003 (0) 6369
Our salute to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Entertainment 6/2/2004 (3) 17630
Pacman Fever Outbreak Successfully Contained
Health 6/27/2005 (0) 5789
Palin Does Interview without Sounding like a Wacko
Politics 6/30/2009 (4) 1005
Paris Hilton DUI Arrest Surprises No One
Entertainment 9/7/2006 (0) 5875
Paris Hiltons Proclaims Saddam Pictures 'Hot'
Entertainment 5/23/2005 (0) 16336
Peanut King Promises Death to Humanity
World News 12/4/2008 (3) 1260
Peter Gammons: Vampire Hunter
Sports 3/31/2003 (6) 6053
Phil Mickelson gets monkey off his back, literally
Sports 4/12/2004 (0) 5016
Phone Number Left for Waitress Billed as Tip
US News 3/19/2009 (0) 1255
Photos To Inspire
Business 9/27/2004 (13) 54851
Picture Dictionary Gone Bad
Feature 12/7/2008 (2) 1257
Picture This II!
Picture 9/5/2002 (3) 1781
Picture This III!
Picture 9/18/2002 (2) 3983
Picture This IV!
Picture 10/28/2002 (2) 3576
Picture This!
Picture 8/27/2002 (0) 3178
Pirates Not Hurt by Online File-Sharing
Tech 1/13/2005 (0) 7203
Pirates vs. Vampires: The Eternal Struggle
Editorials 11/6/2002 (27) 22983
Pluto Will Always Be A Planet To Me
Space 8/24/2006 (5) 7566
Polar Bears must be taught to Swim
World News 7/22/2008 (0) 1992
Pooping Traffic Controller Causes Delays at Washington Airport
US News 4/12/2007 (10) 2866
Pope Benedict Desires Porsche 911 To Replace Aging Pope Mobile
Religion 5/18/2005 (0) 3931
Pope Defeats Bowser, Saves Princess
Religeon 5/15/2009 (1) 711
Popeye Deathly Ill After Eating Tainted Spinach
Health 9/15/2006 (0) 7536
Predator for Governor
Politics 12/1/2003 (2) 7095
President Bush Promises to Send 10,000 Rodeo Clowns to Iraq
US News 1/16/2007 (5) 3174
President George Bush Traps Himself in the Closet
Politics 3/1/2006 (6) 5028
Prince Arrested for Kissing Sleeping Princesses
Law 4/12/2007 (0) 14120
Proposed Border Fence Won't Stop Illegal Aliens from Space
US News 9/10/2008 (0) 3889
Protesters Seek to Shut Down Evil Robot Factory
US News 9/14/2005 (1) 4817
Quicksand Leading Accidental Killer of Morons
Health 3/22/2005 (0) 7334
Racing is fun, if you're good at racing.
Sports 9/30/2002 (0) 8281
Random Thoughts
Feature 12/12/2002 (10) 5770
Random Thoughts II
Feature 1/21/2003 (8) 6587
Random Thoughts III
Feature 4/22/2003 (2) 3449
Random Thoughts IV
Feature 12/14/2003 (10) 5789
Random Thoughts V
Feature 2/10/2004 (6) 5523
Random Thoughts VI
Feature 5/7/2004 (3) 5392
Random Thoughts VII
Feature 7/28/2005 (0) 4394
Real (Stupid) Car Accidents
Feature 7/13/2005 (7) 13149
Recovering Alcoholic Starts Drinking After Falling off a Wagon
Health 10/24/2006 (0) 3375
Rejected Jones Soda Labels
Feature 7/27/2008 (1) 6701
Released Baby Rhinos Could Spell Doom for North America
US News 11/3/2009 (0) 1290
Religious Offerings for Volcano God Pete Must be Carefully Monitored
World News 4/24/2007 (3) 4494
Republicans Admit Whatever Democrats Do is Wrong
Politics 4/15/2010 (5) 579
Researchers Unearth Boring Well
US News 7/28/2006 (3) 2982
Restaurant serves Human Head
Food 1/24/2004 (6) 5306
Review of Boogeyman
Feature 2/7/2005 (0) 5499
Review of Super Mario Bros.
Feature 8/6/2003 (13) 52516
Review of The Legend of Zelda
Video Games 11/18/2008 (5) 1111
Rise of the Machines
Editorials 8/15/2002 (1) 3951
Rising Dairy Costs Cause Nationwide Panic
Food 5/3/2007 (0) 2618
Rising gas prices curb teenage huffing
US News 5/20/2004 (9) 11072
Robot Attacks Leave Lifelong Scars for Survivors
Tech 6/5/2009 (0) 1067
Robots vs. Canadians
World News 1/23/2009 (0) 943
Rogue Whale Terrorizes London
World News 1/20/2006 (44) 6354
Rush Limbaugh Challenges God to Debate
Politics 3/6/2009 (2) 1189
Salvation Army not actually an Army
World News 12/16/2002 (0) 5443
Santa Claus Charged with 106 million Counts of Breaking and Entering
Law 1/13/2010 (0) 2065
Santa Practices Discrimination Against the Poor
World News 12/30/2006 (7) 4763
Satan Spotted Flying Kite
Religeon 11/15/2008 (0) 1208
SatireWire Tribute
Site News 9/28/2002 (0) 4127
School janitor one cherry away from big payoff
US News 4/2/2004 (0) 2664
School secretary calls girl 'filthy whore'
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Schools Seek to Hire More Robots
Education 7/14/2005 (0) 10792
Science Competition Winner Creates Gold from Particleboard
Tech 12/7/2004 (2) 9369
Scientists Baffled How Giant Reef Ended up in Australian Outback
World News 9/22/2008 (0) 1325
Scientists Discover Asteroid That Will Kill Us All
Space 12/28/2004 (6) 8775
Scientists to Use Satellite Photos to Count the Number of People Wearing Red Shirts
Tech 9/18/2008 (0) 1307
Scooter Libby Found Guilty, Ecstatic About Future at a Minimum-Security Facility
Politics 3/6/2007 (0) 2634
Search for missing leftovers continues
US News 7/29/2004 (0) 4506
Sheep Theft by the Homeless a Growing Concern
Law 6/20/2006 (5) 5703
Shocked Man Buys Same Number of Hotdogs as Hotdog Buns
Food 1/23/2007 (0) 3387
Shop Smooth Operator
Site News 9/17/2002 (1) 3731
Site downtime
Site News 10/22/2004 (0) 5415
Small Business Employees Believe Their Boss Is From Hell
Business 7/11/2005 (0) 6204
Small School Experiences Cooties Outbreak
Health 9/22/2004 (0) 4761
Smoky Bear Admits Things Other Than You Can Also Prevent Forest Fires
US News 8/19/2008 (1) 2138
Smooth O
Editorials 8/13/2002 (5) 5328
Smooth Operator celebrates one years!
Site News 7/22/2003 (5) 5548
Smooth Operator Celebrates Three Years of Awesomeness!
Site News 7/22/2005 (0) 6158
Smooth Operator celebrates two years of awesomeness!
Site News 7/22/2004 (1) 5118
Smooth Operator Fans Inadvertently Reelect Oklahoma State Representative
Politics 11/12/2006 (0) 3617
Smooth Operator Names Itself Website of the Year
Site News 1/7/2009 (0) 750
Smooth Operator Seeks Government Bailout
Business 12/3/2008 (2) 882
Smooth Operator Writer Arrested For Connection to Illegal Sesame Street Gambling Ring
Law 2/8/2006 (2) 5495
Smooth Operator Writes 21st Editorial!
Site News 10/9/2002 (2) 5529
Smthop.com Purchased by Windmill Retailer
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Snakes Voted Top Firework of 2005
US News 7/6/2005 (3) 3594
Software Company Using Child Labor to Filter Spam
Tech 10/18/2004 (0) 6720
Software Piracy Leads to Full-Fledged Piracy
Tech 7/24/2008 (0) 2227
Somalia Unable to Acquire US Support to Fight Pirate Menace
World News 4/18/2006 (2) 6192
Some Other Things Wayne Gretzky Was Unaware Of
Sports 2/13/2006 (2) 7162
Someone Is Stealing My Garbage
Editorials 6/21/2006 (7) 6259
Souls of the Damned to power new GM vehicles
Tech 6/29/2004 (3) 5347
Square VS Circle
Editorials 7/30/2002 (6) 4510
Star Wars Geeks Calling in Sick Cripples Business
Business 5/19/2005 (4) 5923
Starving Kid/Fat Kid Exchange Program
Health 11/9/2008 (0) 1676
Still No New Advances In Capri Sun Technology
Food 5/21/2007 (0) 2781
Stolen Office Supplies Discovered in Iraq
Business 12/12/2004 (0) 5138
Stranded man survives off of toner and ink cartridges
US News 6/25/2004 (5) 20994
Student Deemed Crybaby After Being Shot By BB Gun
Education 1/25/2006 (14) 17224
Study Reveals 90% of Atlantis Youth Can't Find Atlantis on a Map
World News 2/16/2008 (1) 2345
Study Reveals All Apple Users are Morons and Outcasts
Tech 5/2/2006 (21) 10992
Superman Takes Two Bounds to Leap A Tall Building
US News 4/19/2005 (0) 3569
Taco Bell Employee Runs for the Border
Law 4/12/2005 (3) 6910
Talking elevator causes woman to leap to her death
US News 6/22/2004 (1) 6830
Teddy Bear Has No Remorse After Killing Thousands
US News 9/26/2006 (0) 5706
Teens Cry Foul As President Bumps The O.C. Off The Airwaves
Entertainment 4/28/2005 (2) 6082
Ten Steps For Picking Up Girls
Feature 5/3/2006 (4) 24179
Ten Steps to Being a Badass
Feature 7/27/2008 (1) 9233
Ten Steps to being Cool
Feature 6/30/2003 (10) 20990
Ten Steps to Fix the Financial Crisis
Feature 3/11/2009 (0) 985
Ten Steps to Having Better Conversations
Feature 10/7/2006 (1) 5162
Ten Things We All Should Say More Often
Editorials 1/12/2009 (1) 1678
Terror Level Raised After Shoe Throwing Incident
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The Abominable Snowman leaves Arctic for NFL
Sports 3/19/2004 (4) 11259
The Battle For PiƱata Rights
World News 7/20/2005 (0) 7087
The Booze for Bums Initiative
Business 10/20/2008 (0) 2328
The breakup of Bobifer
Entertainment 1/31/2004 (0) 2867
The Decline of the T-800 Line of Terminator
Tech 12/30/2008 (5) 2248
The Express Lane Plight of Super Markets
Food 10/30/2008 (0) 1030
The History of Dodgeball
Sports 8/5/2002 (92) 32614
The Horrible Life of Jane Phill
World News 6/10/2005 (10) 4315
The Hubo FX-1 Promises An Easy Future for Lazy People Everywhere
Tech 6/7/2007 (1) 4423
The Lost Art of Cow Tipping
Editorials 4/21/2007 (7) 8731
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Space 8/8/2002 (5) 5436
The New Spirit of Halloween is Faking Your Death
Sports 11/2/2005 (0) 12254
The Next Big Thing
Tech 7/22/2002 (6) 5948
The Plight of Uncontrollable Nose Picking in Vehicles Today
Health 11/28/2008 (0) 1187
The Power of Grapefruit
Tech 1/31/2005 (0) 6318
The Rolling Stones Gather Moss
Health 8/10/2005 (2) 5065
The Sinister Secret Behind Doritos X-13D
Food 6/2/2007 (2) 3355
The Softer Side of SARS
Picture 4/23/2003 (0) 911
The Tragic Fall of Deep Blue
Tech 5/11/2008 (2) 2479
The Tragic Life of an Underappreciated Accountant
Business 8/23/2006 (0) 5320
The Tragic Lives of Ice-cream Vendors
Editorials 9/25/2002 (4) 8204
The Tragic Lives of Middlemen
Editorials 12/1/2004 (2) 5008
The Tragic Lives of Roller Rink Disk Jockeys
Editorials 2/19/2006 (4) 21725
The True Story of Saint Patrick
Editorials 3/16/2007 (2) 4535
The True Story of Smiley Faces
Editorials 8/12/2006 (2) 6984
The True Story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Editorials 10/13/2004 (6) 21531
The War on Literacy
Education 9/24/2002 (2) 6262
The World is on Pace to Run out of Internet by 2010
Tech 7/15/2008 (3) 6189
The year of Darko Milicic
Sports 5/30/2004 (3) 4796
Things you should know
Feature 7/25/2002 (4) 5474
Thumb Wrestling Experiences Resurgence Due to Economic Downturn
Sports 1/28/2009 (5) 872
Tired of Prank Phone Calls, Satan Changes Number
World News 3/23/2005 (2) 7818
Toaster Related Deaths at an All-Time High
Health 12/30/2004 (9) 24558
Today Is A Great Day to Buy Uranium
Tech 3/28/2007 (1) 6091
Toilet Paper Outage Causes Sales Spike of Cat Fancy Magazine
US News 5/31/2005 (3) 12219
Tool of the Month
Entertainment 4/4/2006 (0) 8077
Tragedy Strikes at the 100-Meter Scissor Run
Sports 7/13/2004 (7) 29219
Trojan Pizza Delivery Ends Prison Hostage Standoff
US News 5/16/2005 (2) 4538
Tropical Storm Naming Rights Up For Sale
World News 5/9/2007 (0) 2454
Universal Secures Movie Rights to the Dictionary
Entertainment 3/25/2009 (0) 890
University of Arizona Scientists Blame President Bush for Extinction of Dinosaurs
Politics 2/13/2007 (9) 4643
Utah Jazz Will Resort to Implementing the Dreaded Three-Man-Weave
Sports 5/25/2007 (0) 2646
Vampire Hunters optimistic victory is near
Editorials 4/8/2004 (1) 4952
Vampire public service announcement
Feature 4/9/2004 (1) 3299
Vending Machine Reorganization Causes Corporate Meltdown
Business 6/26/2009 (0) 841
Video games cause people to jump off cliffs
Video Games 2/11/2003 (19) 16745
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US News 8/2/2004 (0) 2796
Water Found on Saturn's Moon Raises Fear of Space Sharks
Space 3/10/2006 (28) 40368
Wearing A Plastic Bag On Your Head Becomes A National Fad
US News 4/13/2005 (0) 5075
Weatherman Caught Using Weather Machine to Improve Forecasts
Tech 6/24/2008 (0) 1780
Web Surfer Attacked by Shark
US News 2/16/2005 (5) 18388
Weeble wobbles, and falls down.
US News 8/19/2004 (0) 7091
Week 1 NFL Picks
Sports 9/9/2007 (2) 2467
Week 2 NFL Picks
Sports 9/14/2007 (6) 2300
Week 3 NFL Picks
Sports 9/22/2007 (4) 2117
Week 4 NFL Picks
Sports 9/29/2007 (1) 2471
West Nile Virus renamed A-OK Virus
Health 4/16/2003 (2) 6295
What your Car says about you
Feature 7/24/2002 (3) 5960
When Doves Attack
Editorials 7/26/2002 (4) 3719
Where Are They Now?
Feature 6/30/2005 (0)