Smooth Operator

Article	Category	Date	Comments	Views
Close Encounters Of The Gigantic Kind Spook Michigan Man	US News	4/29/2007	(0)	4074
Commodes Of Olde	Education	9/30/2005	(1)	6979
Married couple mistakingly "meet" on cheater's site	Editorials	8/7/2004	(12)	3613
Pooping Dog Complicates Local Sandlot Pepper Ball Game	Sports	6/23/2007	(0)	3313
'Back in 5 Minutes' Sign Deemed Equivalent To 'Gone to Take a Shit'	Business	7/14/2010	(1)	187
'Brokeback Mountain' Wins Coveted Quivering Sphincter Award	Entertainment	3/6/2006	(9)	7158
'Jurassic Park Fallujah' Plans Unveiled	US News	1/4/2006	(0)	4191
'Meatnormous' Sandwich Finally Drives The Burger King To Have His Head Examined	Business	10/5/2005	(0)	8607
'You Had A Bad Day' In Pictures	Feature	6/16/2006	(3)	3663
^_^rEEr~! Is a Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi Cat Fight Surfacing?	Politics	3/16/2008	(2)	2459
72 Hours Of Silence	Site News	4/16/2007	(0)	4193
A Creative Writer's Guide To The Internet, Part 1	Education	3/2/2006	(45)	20502
A pleasant afternoon with Chevely McDigg	Editorials	9/11/2004	(0)	5377
A true tale of 2 survivors	Editorials	4/25/2004	(0)	4766
Actor Mike Farrell Wins All Time Dick-Head Award	Entertainment	8/5/2006	(0)	4212
Ailing Chimp Gets Teeth Fixed, Makes Up For Time Lost Ailing	US News	8/10/2006	(0)	3929
Al Gore Dominates Local Competitive Eating Championship	Entertainment	4/20/2006	(0)	3545
Al-Qaeda targeting Amish Community	Editorials	8/11/2003	(4)	5588
Amber Frey to be cast as 'Ratwoman'	Entertainment	8/11/2004	(2)	3744
America needs you, Al Bundy!	Editorials	2/14/2004	(5)	4996
America The Brutal	Editorials	7/11/2005	(12)	5470
America turning into one huge prison	US News	11/13/2004	(1)	3955
America's original dollar menu	Food	3/5/2004	(7)	7023
American Idol Darlin' Kellie Pickler Refutes Luanne Platter Resemblance	Entertainment	4/4/2006	(6)	21662
American Idol Heavily Edited, Pickled Paula Abdul To Blame	Entertainment	1/16/2007	(21)	7821
American Idol Hopeful Taylor Hicks Accused Of Dancing Just Like A Honky	Entertainment	3/8/2006	(40)	11005
American Idol Shocker: Sour Simon Cowell Calls It Quits, Castro Named Pinch Primper	Business	3/30/2006	(0)	4256
American Idol William Hung goes Bang crazy!	Entertainment	2/26/2004	(4)	5157
American Idol: Beating On America's Masochistic Belt	Entertainment	1/23/2007	(0)	2180
Amish family overlooks blackout	Religion	8/25/2003	(8)	4903
Amish pray for rain, God complies	Religion	8/28/2004	(0)	4070
Amish Website Plans Nixed By Lack of Electricity	Business	10/26/2005	(2)	4172
Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft?	Entertainment	7/27/2003	(5)	5100
Angry Jesus Punishes Local Man For Being A Dick	World News	8/13/2009	(0)	1223
Angry Local Man Wants To Burn Down The Whole Fucking Internet	US News	1/12/2008	(0)	2431
Angry White Girl Hisses At Local Business Drug Testing Policy	Business	3/6/2007	(1)	4610
Announcing PCOmelet.com	Site News	11/5/2005	(0)	3958
Annual San Francisco Straight Parade Draws Record 26 Spectators	US News	7/1/2007	(0)	5114
Are You A Hans Moleman?	Feature	12/1/2004	(6)	6818
Area Boss Close To Getting Ass Kicked Over Misuse Of Term 'Multitasking'	Business	12/12/2007	(0)	2903
Area Liberal Girl Simply Can't Admit Global Warming Isn't True, Even If It Isn't	World News	7/25/2009	(2)	1147
Area Musician Boasts of Arpeggiated Farts, A Flat suspended 7th Burps	Entertainment	8/7/2008	(0)	1436
Area Woman Fears Reputation As Bee Magnet	US News	5/1/2005	(10)	11708
Arkansas cop accused of being taser happy	Law	8/18/2004	(0)	5042
Artichoke Named Most Irritating Vegetable	Food	10/8/2005	(5)	14829
Barack Obama and the Poison Mushroom	Politics	1/23/2009	(0)	936
Barack Obama First Order of Business: Dump Tired Black Wife For Some Smokin' Hot White Ass	Politics	11/8/2008	(1)	1693
Barack Obama Urges America To Look To The Cookie	Politics	5/6/2007	(7)	2930
Barack Obama Victory Fallout: Raise Voting Age to 25?	Politics	12/27/2008	(9)	9598
Barack Obama, American Taliban	Politics	7/27/2007	(4)	4709
Barack Obama: America's First 'Special Needs' President	Politics	7/3/2009	(0)	971
Barack Obama: An Uncle Tom President?	Politics	6/5/2008	(1)	2404
Barack Obama: I am NOT a Shemale	Politics	2/20/2008	(0)	2597
Barack Obama: My Name Is NOT Barack Osama	Politics	2/11/2007	(0)	3720
Barry Bonds Sets New Steroid User Home Run Record	Sports	8/8/2007	(0)	2617
Batmobile Wins Daytona 500, No One Cares Or Even Notices	Sports	3/9/2005	(0)	5283
Battle of the TV judges part 1	Entertainment	8/3/2004	(0)	3646
Beach Boys Song 'Little Deuce Coupe' Explained	Feature	5/13/2006	(19)	15639
bEAM mE uP sCOTTY!	Editorials	3/28/2004	(3)	5348
Beer and Darvocets Rumor Plauge Pie Eyed Paula Abdul	Entertainment	5/2/2008	(0)	2690
Beer And Darvocets Rumor Plauge Pie-Eyed American Idol Judge Paula Abdul	Entertainment	1/13/2007	(2)	3304
Beer And Darvocets Rumor Plauge Pie-Eyed American Idol Judge Paula Abdul	Entertainment	3/1/2006	(6)	9141
Befuddled MoveOn.org Member Admits He Really Isn't Sure What He's Supposed To Be Moving On To	US News	3/11/2007	(0)	5744
Befuddled MoveOn.org Member Admits He Really Isn't Sure What He's Supposed To Be Moving On To	Politics	9/23/2007	(0)	2742
Beleaguered NASA Officials Draw Line At Russian ISS Plans For Vodka And Space Hookers	Space	6/1/2006	(0)	3746
Beverage Store Employee Tries To Give A Flying Damp Crap About What Kind Of Wine You Want To Buy	US News	12/5/2006	(0)	4027
Beyond Minnie Me	Editorials	6/25/2004	(0)	5926
Big Huge Muscle Guy Pretty Much Scaring The Hell Out Of Everyone He Bumps Into	Health	6/10/2006	(0)	7216
Big Lotto Win Guts Local Chicken Plant Staff	US News	12/22/2005	(0)	3526
Big Screen TV's, 'COPS' TV Show Make For A Deadly Mix	Entertainment	12/2/2005	(0)	4279
Bill Clinton : I Can Bend In Half and Blow Myself	Politics	9/27/2009	(6)	1243
Bill Gates grows tail	Editorials	9/27/2003	(2)	5540
Billboard's Top Twenty restuarant review	Editorials	12/12/2003	(5)	5779
Blame it on the Caveman	Editorials	6/18/2004	(1)	3969
Blazing Hot Habaneros Haunt Local Household	Food	1/2/2007	(0)	4374
Bomb Sniffing Dog Detects Explosives Up Partner Pooch's Butt, Thousands Panic	US News	2/3/2007	(0)	4850
Boy Lets Fly Walk On His Face, Creeps Everyone Out	World News	12/8/2004	(1)	3989
Britney Spears Song If U Seek Amy Much More Profane Than Previously Thought	Entertainment	2/1/2009	(12)	5580
Broke college grad attempts roller coaster record	US News	7/7/2004	(0)	4517
Burger King Manager Laments Loss Of 'The Perfect Employee'	Food	8/30/2005	(0)	4210
Bush Admits Pulling A 'James T Kirk' With Saddam Hussein	Politics	2/4/2005	(0)	5175
Bush Appoints House M.D. To Surgeon General Post	Politics	11/5/2005	(0)	5550
Bush Appoints Sumo Dad to Cabinet	Politics	3/22/2005	(0)	5287
Bush Playing Jumanji With Al-Qaeda	US News	7/5/2005	(5)	6161
Bush-Era Judges Revert To White Wigs, Speaking Middle English	Law	12/13/2004	(0)	6064
Bushy Tailed Freaks: When Squirrels Attack!!	Health	4/14/2006	(0)	11802
Call Center Employee Laughs Off Zacarias Moussaoui Supermax Sentence	Business	5/4/2006	(3)	13679
Candid Interview With A Real-Life Cable Guy	Entertainment	10/24/2005	(2)	5271
Canned MySpace Party Pics Becoming National Fad	World News	5/22/2008	(0)	2775
Cantakerous Tech Support Guy Actually Answers Question Without Usual Sarcasm	Tech	7/8/2006	(1)	4700
Career Radio Shack Employee Writes Memoirs	Tech	11/1/2004	(4)	7650
Cheap Chinese Razors Lacerate Leggy Local Gal	Health	12/27/2006	(0)	5151
Cheapskate C.E.O. Of Smthop.com Reveals Writer Outsourcing Plan	Site News	1/2/2005	(4)	6214
Chevy Cavalier named top deer hunter choice	Sports	11/16/2004	(0)	4336
Chick With Apple Shaped Ass Fends Off Latest Wave Of Illicit Gropes And Grabs	US News	1/3/2007	(0)	7785
Chick With Huge Tits Wows Local Workplace	Business	6/9/2006	(6)	58046
Chick With Huge Tits Wows Local Workplace	Business	9/26/2008	(0)	8822
Child's Play Chucky Slated To Join Bratz Doll Spring Selection	Business	12/30/2006	(4)	5785
Christmas Aftermath News Briefs	US News	12/26/2004	(0)	3267
Chuck Yeager Driving School	Editorials	10/4/2003	(5)	6881
Civil War Reenactor Pissed That He hasn't Had A Chance To Really Kill Somebody	US News	7/25/2009	(2)	999
Clandestine FBI Google Tap Yields Somewhat Embarrassing Results	Business	1/19/2006	(0)	10120
Clay Aiken Gored In Pamplona Bull Run	World News	7/9/2007	(4)	5602
Clay Aiken Tops List That Truly Straight Guys Would Like To Kick The Crap Out Of	US News	6/13/2009	(23)	1950
Cold Weather Snap Makes Global Warming Liberal Girl Cry	US News	1/9/2010	(4)	1231
Colin Powell: Master Jeep mechanic	Politics	5/22/2003	(0)	3500
Collector drinks limited edition pop, ponders next buy	Food	9/22/2004	(0)	3613
Colonel Colt made all men...Conservatives?	Editorials	7/3/2004	(2)	3408
Confessions of a Lobster Killer	US News	1/10/2009	(0)	861
Confused Local Man Calls Neighbors's Dog A Dick	US News	1/7/2006	(4)	4961
Confused Moth Mistakes Al Gore's Head For A Big Giant Light Bulb	Politics	6/8/2006	(0)	4606
Congress mulls Terrorism Tax	Politics	5/30/2003	(4)	4097
COPS lighting and sound	Editorials	11/18/2003	(0)	3415
Copyright cases plague legal system	Law	9/13/2003	(6)	3753
Cornish Hen Named Most Annoying Poultry	Food	7/9/2008	(0)	2147
Coroner: Michael Jackson's Body Doesn't Need Embalming	Entertainment	6/27/2009	(10)	5653
Cranial Nail Transforms Socially Apathetic Michigan Man Into Blathering Political Mouthpiece	US News	7/1/2007	(0)	2472
Crappy Tasting Toothpaste Must Be Good Because It's German	Business	9/10/2006	(0)	3127
Crazed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Goes To Syria	Politics	4/5/2007	(8)	5117
Crazed Toddler Womps Playmate, To Be Tried As Adult	US News	11/7/2006	(0)	2793
Critical typo found in Clinton book	Politics	6/22/2004	(0)	5133
Culinary Coincidences: Savory Staples Discovered Quite Serendipitously	Food	8/25/2006	(0)	3373
D.C. Man taking advantage of forlorn liberal women	Politics	11/3/2004	(0)	4817
Dad bans 129 Music Styles From Home Computer	Entertainment	7/17/2004	(0)	4419
Daryl Hannah Hugs Tree, Gets Arrested	Entertainment	6/14/2006	(0)	3579
Dazzled California Man Suddenly Realizes Life Is An Artificial Contsruct	Religion	10/15/2005	(0)	3691
Death By Blog	Business	2/12/2005	(5)	8048
Dell Computers Ponders 'PC's For The Homeless' Marketing Strategy	Business	12/31/2005	(3)	16041
Democratic Party nominates Slack Jawed Yokel	Politics	2/6/2004	(4)	5096
Department Of Labor Determines That Majority Of Labor Is Not Spent Laboring	Business	9/23/2006	(0)	3407
Diary Of A Farker	Editorials	1/12/2005	(22)	7408
Dick Gephardt calls Bush Big Dumb Poopy Head	Politics	1/17/2004	(3)	4072
Did A Poorly Administered Opiate Addiction Treatment Kill Anna Nicole Smith?	Entertainment	2/13/2007	(11)	4129
Did American television drive Saddam to surrender?	Editorials	12/18/2003	(2)	5413
Differences split small Ohio Town	Editorials	10/25/2003	(5)	5571
Digging In The Digital Dirt	Business	10/17/2005	(0)	7901
Dippy Psychology 101 Student Analyzing Everyone In Sight	Education	2/27/2005	(1)	4957
Disgraced Idaho Senator Larry Craig Toilet Tryst Reveals He's A Democrat After All	Politics	9/2/2007	(0)	3232
Disney now requiring background checks for mascots	Law	9/17/2004	(0)	4581
Divorced Michigan Man Watches Paint Dry, Actually Enjoys It	US News	6/6/2007	(0)	2816
Dizzy Illinois Girl Thinks Car Radio Mystically Sends Her Messages	US News	8/11/2005	(1)	3956
Dizzy Liberal Chick thinks Reading Glasses give her an Implied Air of Authority	US News	5/14/2008	(0)	2731
Dizzy Maury Show Guest Finally Wakes Up And Realizes She Was A Guest On The Maury Show	Entertainment	9/23/2005	(0)	7361
Do you have Spidey Sense? part 1	Feature	7/4/2004	(0)	5122
Do you have Spidey Sense? part 2	Feature	7/12/2004	(0)	5521
Does Nancy Pelosi Require Psychiatric Evaluation?	Politics	11/7/2007	(0)	3248
Don Imus Nappy Headed Ho's Remark Offends Nappy Headed Ho's Everywhere	Entertainment	4/10/2007	(4)	5741
Dozens Of Gay Elephants Prepare To Wed In California	US News	6/16/2008	(0)	1872
Drunken Dog Goes On Neighborhood Rampage	US News	2/7/2005	(11)	47166
Dubuque Woman Witlessly Ogles Frozen Piece Of Plunging Airplane Pee, Experts Perplexed	US News	7/29/2007	(0)	2864
Dumbass Kid Plays Anakin Skywalker, Gets Head Stuck In Chair	Education	5/23/2005	(1)	8452
E-Bay Ponders 'Jesus's Face In A Block Of Wood' Catagory	Religion	1/19/2005	(9)	7163
Early Morning Gourmet Coffee Conversation Entices Normally Flavorless Wisconsin Office Staff	Business	7/21/2008	(1)	1774
Einstein's Brain Found At Wisconsin Garage Sale	World News	12/15/2004	(3)	6900
Eminent Physicist: 'Gorillaz' Noodle Could Not Have Survived Fiery Lighthouse Crash	Entertainment	8/2/2009	(13)	2321
Employer urges staff to flush toilets, most comply	US News	8/24/2004	(0)	2625
Environmentalist: Squirrels, pigeons not on endangered species list	US News	11/7/2004	(1)	2867
ER Nurse Uses Inappropriate Bedside Manner On Gang Shooting Victim	Health	11/27/2004	(1)	5890
Ever Wonder What Tourette Syndrome Is Really Like?	Health	7/18/2006	(2)	3450
Exclusive interview with Dr. Germ	Editorials	5/15/2003	(2)	5584
Exclusive Interview With The Liberal Grocer	Business	11/17/2007	(0)	2924
Exclusive Interview With The Liberal Grocer: September, 2009 Repost	Politics	9/25/2009	(0)	717
Exclusive Nude Britney Spears Doll Revealed To Be Cheap Chinese Made Clothless Barbie	Entertainment	1/30/2006	(12)	5944
Exotic Erotic Imagery Taints Local Couples Asian Culinary Expedition	Food	12/2/2006	(1)	5237
Famed Archaeololgist: Ancient Egyptians Had Really Nice Asses	World News	2/3/2005	(0)	5737
Famous M.D.: Fergie Has Brain Worms From Eating Undercooked Pork	Entertainment	11/28/2008	(0)	2333
Famous Technology That Ain't	Tech	3/20/2005	(3)	12644
Fantasia!	Entertainment	5/21/2004	(0)	3493
Fat Man Affects Earth's Wobble, Geophysicists Panic	Space	4/7/2005	(0)	4606
Fat woman percieves herself as thin, keeps eating	Health	8/26/2004	(6)	8623
Female Executive Shows Signs Of Developing A Scrotum	Business	3/13/2005	(0)	6805
Feminist admits getting offended by basically everything	Editorials	10/22/2004	(6)	4044
Fermented Mares Milk Tops List Of Least Thirst Quenching Beverages	Food	7/11/2006	(5)	5777
First Lesbian Experience Leaves Local Gal Just Brimming Over With Empowerment	US News	7/7/2007	(0)	11003
Flat Chested Gals Named Top Sunbathing Scourge	Sports	7/27/2006	(2)	6233
Foibles of Faketown	Health	3/31/2004	(0)	6753
Foods that historical soldiers ate	Food	9/14/2004	(6)	8393
Foot Locker employee reprimanded for being too stanky	Editorials	9/29/2004	(2)	4498
Foot Locker Employee Reprimanded For Being Too Stanky	Business	10/14/2008	(0)	2378
Forlorn Janitor Sadly Realizes No One Notices, Let Alone Pays Attention To Him	US News	6/26/2006	(2)	6488
Fox 'Trading Spouses' reveals most people are assholes	Entertainment	8/11/2004	(0)	4349
Fox announces American Anti-Idol	Entertainment	4/14/2004	(1)	3117
FOX Network Says Screw It, Decides To Start Airing XXX Adult Material	Entertainment	7/13/2008	(0)	2850
Frankie Muniz Grows Up, Turns Into Teenage Frankenstein	Entertainment	2/13/2005	(0)	5800
Friday Mailbag-Contest Edition	Site News	7/15/2005	(0)	5510
Frontier House?	Entertainment	5/13/2004	(3)	6742
Fusilli Named Top Pasta In 2004	Business	5/26/2005	(0)	6101
Geek Squad Tech With Baby Hands Freaks Out Customers, Co-Workers	Tech	3/9/2008	(0)	2409
Gene Simmons Announces Presidential Bid	Politics	11/4/2003	(5)	6081
Gentlemen Prefer...Comics?	Entertainment	6/25/2006	(0)	4351
Gentlemen, start your engines!	Editorials	6/14/2004	(0)	4876
Gibson Acoustic-Electric Guitar Sets New Pawn Shop Resale Record	Entertainment	11/26/2005	(0)	6691
Girl With Huge Tits Sues Boss For Staring At Her Huge Tits	Law	12/19/2009	(2)	2416
Golfer has nose job, loses edge	Sports	7/21/2003	(0)	4016
GOP Nominates Hank Hill as Presidential Candidate	Politics	5/28/2003	(5)	7573
Great Mulder And Scully Mysteries Part 1 : The Missing Sock Conundrum	Feature	4/5/2006	(1)	5445
Group Photos With Big-Ass Machine Gun Becoming National Fad	US News	1/10/2006	(0)	5623
Guy With Big Giant Head Laments Lifetime Of Presumed Super Brilliance	US News	6/30/2008	(0)	1605
Guy With Big Giant Head Laments Lifetime Of Presumed Super Brilliance	Business	2/7/2007	(0)	3846
Guy With Really Crappy Credit Laughs Off Identity Theft Attempt	Business	8/13/2008	(0)	1987
Guy With Stanky Breath Finally Goes To Dentist, Starts Getting Dates	Health	1/26/2005	(0)	4665
Hank Hill selects running mate	Politics	6/27/2003	(2)	4841
Hapless George W. Bush Declared An Unwitting Metaphor	Politics	3/31/2005	(0)	6879
Hapless Hitch Hiker Laments End Of The Free Ride era	US News	10/18/2006	(0)	2468
Happy 1/2 New Year!	Editorials	7/1/2004	(6)	6838
Hard Lessons Learned From The War In Iraq	World News	5/4/2007	(7)	2395
Harley-Davidson to build Mars rover	Space	2/1/2004	(1)	3884
Harshly Worded Saturday Morning Meeting Briefly Motivates Normally Torpid Sales Staff	Business	8/21/2006	(0)	3085
Have a happy Memorial day?	Editorials	6/3/2004	(3)	5110
HELP!!! MY CAPS LOCK GOT STUCK!!! YARGHH!!!	Feature	11/29/2006	(1)	5501
High School Adds 'Street Smarts 101' To Curriculum	Education	2/6/2005	(0)	22213
High-tech gag gifts	Tech	4/11/2004	(0)	17947
Hollywood's Latest Cultural Goat: The Redneck?	Entertainment	3/8/2007	(10)	5050
Homeless man charged with cruelty to animals	Law	8/24/2004	(0)	3632
Honey Baked Ham Changes Name To Honey Baked Listeria	Business	11/26/2006	(0)	3528
Hooters Girl Sues For Being Treated Like A Girl Who Works At Hooters	Law	11/24/2004	(5)	15902
Hot or Not: Fergie	Entertainment	4/20/2008	(0)	206827
Hovel Dweller Laments Lifetime Of Decisive Indecisiveness	US News	10/29/2006	(0)	2532
Huge Dent In Al-Zawahiri's Forehead Pretty Much Overshadows Latest Death And Damnation Video	World News	7/4/2007	(0)	3392
Huge Dent In Al-Zawahri's Forehead Pretty Much Overshadows Latest Death And Damnation Video	Religion	9/2/2006	(0)	4719
Huge Zit Tanks Otherwise Perfect Job Interview	Business	7/2/2006	(0)	3851
Husband-wife cops arrest each other	Law	6/20/2004	(0)	3398
I picked the wrong election to quit drinking	Politics	2/9/2004	(2)	5440
I want to be like Neo	Editorials	5/9/2004	(3)	3498
I, Godhammer	Religion	4/17/2005	(2)	4033
I-I'm Having Chest Pains!!	Health	4/23/2005	(0)	4352
Idiot Dog Clomps 3 Tennis Balls, Sets New Canine Record	Sports	2/23/2005	(0)	5250
If Stan Lee had only...	Editorials	6/18/2003	(1)	5035
If the worst can happen... It probably will	Editorials	7/10/2003	(3)	3435
Individually Wrapped Sliced Cheese Named Top Overlooked Mundane Invention	Food	7/25/2006	(0)	3402
Intrusive Job Screening Pretty Much Snuffs Enthusiasm Out Of Local Man	Business	7/11/2006	(1)	4459
Iranians Elect Scarface To Presidential Seat	Politics	7/10/2005	(0)	5874
Iraqi man displays theological indifference	World News	9/5/2004	(0)	4134
Iron Man's Secret Power Source Revealed	Entertainment	12/30/2004	(0)	4615
Iron Man's Secret Power Source Revealed	Entertainment	5/4/2008	(0)	3303
Is a real Stargate SG-1 possible?	Tech	3/8/2004	(4)	8735
Is America Truly Willing To Experiment With Barack Obama?	Politics	12/6/2007	(2)	2511
Is American Idol Taylor Hicks The Next Elvis?	Entertainment	5/25/2006	(3)	3235
Is Liberal Yahoo News An Anti-American Information Source?	US News	2/3/2007	(14)	2481
Is Nancy Pelosi Catalyzing a New Sino-American War?	Politics	3/23/2008	(0)	2012
Italian Beverage-Deli Store Owner Punks Student Employees For Using Big Words	Business	3/10/2005	(0)	5336
Italian guy gets punked on his homepage, vendetta ensues	Editorials	9/3/2004	(0)	5128
Jackass High School Kid Brickheadedly Screws Up Shop Project	Education	6/14/2005	(2)	4527
Jaded House Frau Goes To Strip Club, Turns Into Mad Woman	US News	1/18/2005	(2)	11066
James Earl Jones Autobiography Shocker: I Am Not Darth	Entertainment	5/11/2005	(0)	3961
Japanese Scientists Proclaim Giant Squid Created Man, Universe	Religion	8/1/2006	(3)	5956
Jesse Davis Murder Highlights Perils Of Interracial Relationships	US News	6/24/2007	(27)	6015
Jocks Drive Freaks and Goths From Small Midwestern Library	Education	10/10/2006	(1)	9084
John Barleycorn Must Die!	Editorials	2/7/2004	(6)	16248
John Kerry using word "kill" in election campaign	Politics	10/28/2004	(0)	5080
John Madden announces the Cowturducken	Sports	11/20/2004	(0)	4178
Josh Groban Finally Enters Puberty, Millions Of Adoring Fans Alarmed	Entertainment	12/23/2006	(2)	3630
Judge Hatchett: dumb justice for a dumb generation	Entertainment	5/4/2004	(12)	4601
Justin Bieber Allegation Shocker: I am NOT a Teen Lesbian!	Entertainment	7/18/2010	(6)	1054
KFC Reinstalls Formally Taboo Word 'Fried' Into Modern Extra Crispy Advertising	Business	11/15/2006	(0)	4951
King Kong Remake Demonstrates Special Effects Can Breath New Life Into Any Stale Old Premise	Entertainment	10/21/2006	(0)	2926
Large Bulbous Vein On Bosses Forehead Leads To Hilarious Nicknames	Business	7/3/2006	(1)	4148
Late Night Snack Merges Dangerously Close With Early Morning Breakfast	Food	10/31/2005	(0)	4166
Latest Weapons Technology Makes Nintendo Wii, Sony PS3 Most Fought Over Video Games Of 2006	Business	11/21/2006	(0)	3901
Latin Americans Protest Bush Visit, Clean Water, Paved Roads, Medical Care, Everything Else American	World News	3/14/2007	(0)	2350
Learn How To Talk Just Like Charlton Heston	Entertainment	4/6/2008	(3)	2134
Learn How To Talk Just Like Charlton Heston	Education	12/28/2005	(0)	7617
Lesser seen bobble head dolls	Editorials	3/2/2004	(2)	4939
Liberal Douche Bag of the Week: Sonia Sotomayor and Barack Obama	Politics	5/29/2009	(0)	903
Life in the 29th Dimension	Editorials	5/7/2004	(5)	4094
Little Jimmy goes to Canada	Editorials	3/11/2004	(1)	3625
Little Sister Gains Upper Hand In Family Judo Lessons	World News	3/12/2005	(0)	5815
Lobster Again?! Auughhh!	Food	6/23/2005	(6)	16018
Local Automated Traffic Camera Captures Image Of Man's Speeding Ass	US News	1/5/2007	(0)	7297
Local Band Mystified Over Mixed Reaction To Original Material	Entertainment	7/3/2006	(0)	3237
Local Boy Discovers That Money Spends Much Easier Than It Earns	US News	1/29/2005	(0)	6042
Local Coworker's Mutual Erotic Fantasies Sadly Fail To Connect	Business	8/19/2006	(0)	3690
Local Daschund Vainly Attempts To Fight Off Reputation As A Silly Little Weiner Dog	US News	12/12/2006	(0)	2378
Local Dog Smells Man's Balls, Detects Deadly Cancer	Health	10/6/2006	(0)	3873
Local Gal Gets Addicted To Oxycontin, Blames Hydrocodone Instead	Health	9/14/2006	(0)	11323
Local Girl Eats Marigold Petals, Turns Orange	Food	5/16/2006	(0)	6200
Local Girl Relies On STD Stats To Remind Her Not Getting Laid Isn’t So Bad	US News	3/27/2009	(2)	882
Local Imam Sees Image Of Mohammed In Block Of Wood	Religion	2/1/2006	(2)	6369
Local Man Confirms Lunacy, Can't Wait For Hot Food To Cool	US News	11/23/2008	(3)	861
Local Man Gets Ass Kicked For Not Observing Earth Hour	US News	3/29/2008	(0)	1895
Local Man Mistakes Whirring Whiney Hard Drive Sounds For Asthma Attack	Tech	5/31/2008	(0)	1913
Local Man Reportedly Growing Used To Disappointment	US News	12/5/2005	(1)	3303
Local Man's Monthly Gasoline Costs Exceed Monthly Car Payment	US News	6/1/2006	(0)	4853
Local Sam's Club Promotes 28th Mini Manager Out Of Total Store Staff Of 52	Business	11/27/2006	(0)	5124
Local Viewer Confuses American Idol With America's Most Wanted	Entertainment	1/28/2006	(0)	8005
Local Viewer Confuses American Idol With America's Most Wanted	Entertainment	1/19/2007	(0)	2513
Local White Girl Listens To Hip Hop Music, Develops Puzzling Neurological Disorder	US News	8/3/2007	(0)	4644
Local Woman Accused of Kicking the Crap Out of Every Man in Sight	US News	8/5/2008	(0)	1371
Local Workplace Agonizes Over Last Piece Of Pepperoni Pizza	Business	1/31/2007	(0)	2743
Lockheed designes plane that doesn't fly	Tech	8/5/2003	(1)	3545
Lonely Canadian Man Marries Local Maple Tree	World News	6/12/2006	(3)	5447
Mad Cows reported in Ft. Worth, 2 dead	Editorials	12/30/2003	(2)	5415
Male Stripper Kills 7 Women at Local Nursing Home	US News	5/22/2009	(0)	1257
Malingering Spiritual Malaise Spurs Demand For Even More Star Wars Sagas	Entertainment	11/23/2006	(1)	16516
Man admits saving E-mails for possible revenge	Tech	8/31/2004	(0)	5204
Man Declines Fried Chicken Dinner, Promptly Branded A Racist	Food	4/19/2006	(2)	7253
Man eats hot wings at bedtime, pays big price	Food	9/9/2004	(0)	4036
Man eats way too much tropical fruit, nearly dissolves	Food	8/26/2004	(0)	3598
Man grows sexually possessive of work computer, gets fired	Tech	11/18/2004	(0)	6113
Man leaves Antiques Roadshow partially dissapointed	US News	8/17/2004	(4)	5633
Man leaves dog out in rain, pays big price	Law	4/21/2004	(0)	3767
Man sneezes in library, public reaction seems confused	Editorials	6/5/2004	(0)	3579
Man Stranded On Desert Island Since 1980 Rescued, Remains Stranded Socially	World News	5/6/2005	(2)	6823
Man Writes Scathing Reseller Review Online, Feels Vindicated	Business	12/31/2004	(2)	4345
Mankind's greatest inventions	Tech	7/17/2004	(0)	5959
Many Americans Still Think They Elected Denzel Washington as President	Politics	6/11/2009	(0)	851
Marijuana users condemn Atkins diet	Food	1/15/2004	(5)	6727
Marine biologist throws luncheon with mixed results	US News	9/9/2004	(0)	2769
Mars rover lost, NASA guilt ridden	Space	1/22/2004	(1)	5607
Mars rovers becoming territorial	Space	4/20/2004	(0)	5736
Mars scientists naming every pebble in sight	Space	2/12/2004	(4)	3460
Martha Stewart downplays prison, prison downplays Martha Stewart	US News	10/29/2004	(0)	3256
Martha Stewart Named New Lesbian Hero	US News	3/4/2005	(0)	4461
Michael Moore accepts Al-Jazeera gig	Entertainment	7/30/2004	(0)	3590
Michelle Obama's Mouth Named New Greenhouse Gas Champion	Politics	3/26/2008	(0)	2519
Michigan Woman Says 'Hugh Jackman' Multiple Times, Keeps Straight Face	Entertainment	6/17/2005	(0)	6128
Middle aged woman gets tattoo, looks for support	US News	8/29/2004	(1)	8503
Mixed (up) Media	Editorials	2/24/2004	(3)	3600
Mohammed Khalid Shaikh Creates Hair Care Club For Arab Men	Business	5/27/2005	(0)	4807
More Really Cool Cars	Tech	8/22/2005	(4)	23303
My big fat obnoxious candidate	Entertainment	2/14/2004	(3)	3576
My dad, the Pirate!	Editorials	3/10/2004	(0)	3714
My Mom, The Marsupial	Editorials	1/15/2006	(1)	4175
My Space Execs Ponder Changing Popular Site Name To www.ohjustgoaheadandmolestmydamnkidalready.com	Business	12/17/2006	(4)	2917
MySpace Chick Thanks God For Velcro Bra Straps	World News	1/9/2007	(3)	5544
MySpace Dude Thanks God For Chicks That Put Out	World News	1/9/2007	(0)	2523
Mysterious Blanket Of Frozen White Matter Smothers Northeast U.S., Millions Panic	US News	12/9/2006	(0)	2812
Nancy Pelosi Crosses Road, Almost Gets To The Other Side	Politics	11/17/2006	(0)	2968
NASA admits pulling a 'Scotty' with Mars Rovers	Space	8/7/2004	(1)	75065
NASA rover finds	Space	3/13/2004	(3)	5494
NASA selects Bubble Boy for Mars mission	Space	2/15/2004	(4)	6037
National Anthem In Spanish Dilemma Creates Nationwide Bandwagon Effect	Politics	5/1/2006	(0)	3994
Nintendo Wii Player Punches The Living Crap Out Of Kid Brother, Blames Defective Controller Instead	Entertainment	12/10/2006	(7)	4326
Notable Absence Of Superman Alarms Mankind	US News	1/25/2006	(2)	4942
Obama Health Care Package Success Hinges That Nothing Bad Ever Happens To America Again	Politics	4/1/2010	(5)	341
Obama Stimulus Package Earmarks $1.6 Billion For Ailing Detroit Sports Teams	Sports	2/7/2009	(6)	4308
Obstinate Alabama Man With SDTV Vows: I Will Never Buy An HDTV	Entertainment	2/27/2007	(8)	4518
Of Guilt, Feinged Altruism And American Idol	Entertainment	4/25/2007	(0)	4409
Of ice and men	Editorials	5/8/2004	(0)	3129
Oh Gawd! NOT AGAIN!!	Entertainment	8/18/2004	(7)	3170
Ohio enacts tough new drunk driving laws	Law	9/1/2003	(12)	5386
Ohio man gets pissed over seatbelt law, becomes Libertarian	Politics	10/20/2004	(0)	5187
Ohio Origami Club Endures Latest Round Of Beatings	Entertainment	12/7/2004	(3)	21019
Ohio Woman Confesses To Being Pierogi Addict	US News	8/27/2005	(0)	4741
Ohio Workplace Endures Bitter Power Struggle	Business	1/29/2005	(0)	4118
Old computers never die...	Tech	3/14/2004	(9)	6011
One Minute Of Truth With A Fox TV Executive	US News	10/23/2005	(0)	4365
One Minute Of Truth With A Liberal	Politics	4/16/2005	(5)	8110
One Minute Of Truth With A Liberal Part 2	Editorials	6/20/2005	(22)	6553
One Minute Of Truth With A Liberal part 3	Politics	10/6/2005	(17)	6586
One Minute Of Truth With A Pseudoephedrine Manufacturer	Business	7/6/2005	(2)	5144
One Too Many MAS*H Reruns Finally Kill Local Man	Health	2/19/2006	(5)	7643
Osama, Salman Rushdie Found Hiding In Same Cave	World News	12/12/2004	(0)	3714
Over Enthusiastic McDonald's Fry Cook Watches Too Much Hell's Kitchen, Coworkers Blanched	Business	8/30/2007	(0)	2788
Overpopulated Japan to rid Island of Monsters	World News	8/4/2003	(2)	4594
Paris and Nicole get away with murder	Entertainment	7/17/2004	(0)	3370
Pass the papaya	Food	2/21/2004	(4)	5349
Pentagon Ponders Offering Free Xbox 360 To Sweeten Flagging Enlistments	Video Games	12/18/2005	(0)	4495
Pepsi Throwback Not a Throwback, They Just Stopped Screwing It Up	Business	5/23/2009	(2)	886
Pick Your Prison	Editorials	11/21/2003	(3)	3358
Piss or get off the Message Board	Editorials	2/18/2004	(27)	32390
Plus Sized House Gals Named Top Suburban Scourge	US News	9/28/2005	(5)	6457
Poindexterous American Idol Wanna Bee Kevin Covais Describes Newly Identified 'Schmeetl Effect'	Entertainment	3/16/2006	(9)	14429
Pontius Povich	Entertainment	9/27/2004	(3)	6975
Pontius Povich : The Maury Povich Show Explained	Entertainment	4/28/2006	(0)	3580
Portly Pooch Flunks Diet, Perplexed Owner Passe	US News	1/23/2007	(0)	3985
Predatory realtor stumbles, loses money on deal	Business	8/17/2004	(2)	3845
President Obama School Children Speech Played Backwards Reveals Ominous Messages	Politics	9/7/2009	(4)	1577
Prison rioters throw fellow prisoners in prison	US News	11/13/2004	(0)	2873
Radio Control Aircraft Club Somberly Marks 100th Scale Model Crash	Sports	7/27/2006	(0)	5731
Radio Shack expands services as title bureau	Tech	6/16/2003	(3)	5582
Ratzenberger Named Pope Clavius I	Religion	4/22/2005	(0)	4427
Reality bytes!	Editorials	4/26/2004	(0)	3396
Really Cheesy Porn Music Named Top Killer Of Online Masturbation Fantasies	Business	11/7/2006	(0)	3744
Rising Gasoline Prises Cut Into Area Mans Beer Money	Business	12/11/2005	(0)	5494
Ronny And The Daytonas Song 'Little GTO' Explained	Feature	11/18/2006	(3)	6148
Ronny And The Daytonas Song 'Little GTO' Explained	Sports	6/17/2006	(3)	12012
Rubber ducks to hit land; Man finally selects career	Editorials	7/14/2003	(0)	3586
Rural Town Replaces Mailboxes With Pinjatas	Law	11/23/2004	(0)	8029
Russia retrieves NASA Sojourner rover	Space	2/16/2004	(6)	5383
Sassy Newbie Jogger Reportedly Pretty Goddamm Proud Of Himself	Sports	10/4/2006	(0)	2981
Saudi Man Risks Ass To Buy Red Roses	World News	2/13/2005	(3)	4504
Savory Steak Sandwich Nearly Kills Michigan Man	Food	9/8/2008	(0)	1499
Selected Shorts part 1	Feature	7/8/2004	(9)	3392
Selected Shorts part 2	Feature	7/11/2004	(0)	4481
Selected Shorts part 3	Feature	7/25/2004	(0)	5308
Senator John McCain uses more Star Wars references	Politics	9/2/2004	(3)	5461
Shocking DMV Photo Makes Nevada Man Look Like Al-Zarqawi	Law	3/6/2005	(3)	7569
Should The CIA Snuff Hugo Chavez?	Politics	12/2/2007	(7)	4112
Simon Cowell Fights Off Nagging Heterosexual Rumor	Entertainment	5/9/2006	(0)	4504
Simon Cowell rates Smooth Operator	Editorials	2/3/2004	(11)	6336
Single guy outlines bachelor man's diet	Food	9/4/2004	(0)	4459
Sir Simon Cowell the Irascible	Entertainment	3/28/2007	(0)	2571
Sir Simon the Irascible	Entertainment	6/17/2004	(0)	3169
Sluggard Boss Thanks God For MS Word Auto Correct	Business	1/8/2005	(2)	4548
Smooth Operator rates American Whisky	Editorials	7/14/2004	(2)	4746
Smooth Operator Turning Into A Giant Roll Of Life Savers	Site News	2/27/2005	(0)	3987
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week 1-02-07	Site News	1/2/2007	(0)	2434
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week 1-09-07	Site News	1/6/2007	(0)	4342
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week 1-15-2007	Entertainment	1/15/2007	(0)	2850
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week 1-22-2007	Entertainment	1/19/2007	(0)	2284
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week 12-28-06	Site News	12/28/2006	(0)	2330
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week, 1-29-2007	Entertainment	1/29/2007	(1)	2446
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week, 2-05-2007	Entertainment	2/4/2007	(0)	2130
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week, 2-11-2007	Feature	2/11/2007	(0)	2955
Smooth Operator's 80's Song Of The Week, 2-21-2007	Feature	2/21/2007	(0)	4402
Smthop.com In Crisis: We are Under Attack!	Site News	11/10/2004	(16)	5672
Smthop.com: Fighting the good fight for good fighters everywhere	Editorials	11/10/2004	(0)	3333
Sniglets Revisted	Entertainment	7/2/2005	(0)	5424
So What's The David Letterman Appeal All About?	Entertainment	12/4/2006	(2)	5394
So what's the fuss about hot saucing?	Editorials	8/24/2004	(0)	6642
So, What's The Psychology Behind American Idol?	Editorials	1/17/2007	(5)	4449
So, What's the Psychology Behind American Idol?	Entertainment	4/23/2008	(0)	2006
So, You Think Pot Is Natural, Huh?	Health	8/20/2006	(2)	8678
So, You Think The Beatles Sucked, Eh?	Entertainment	7/30/2006	(21)	9438
Some Almost Laughable Deaths	Feature	11/16/2005	(0)	7969
Some Entirely Plausible Star Wars Creative Influences	Entertainment	12/22/2006	(8)	8365
Some Interesting Google Search Engine Queries	Feature	4/8/2006	(0)	18936
Some Lesser Known Answers To Some Rarely Asked Questions	Feature	10/9/2005	(0)	7172
Some Moderately Disturbing Foods	Food	8/23/2006	(0)	4444
Some Occupational Injuries Of Olde	Education	10/20/2005	(0)	5653
Some Potentially Hilarious Grave Markers	Religion	3/20/2007	(0)	7519
Some Really Cool Aircraft	Tech	10/14/2005	(2)	20221
Some Really Cool Cars	Tech	7/24/2005	(20)	56362
Some Really Cool Fossil and Crystal Jewelry	Site News	5/17/2009	(0)	1060
Some Really Cool Moments In Sci-Fi Cinema History	Entertainment	11/2/2005	(0)	10576
Some Really Cool Scanning Electron Microscope Pics	Tech	8/24/2006	(0)	4902
Some really cool words	Editorials	6/10/2004	(9)	10408
Some Really Empty AOL Chat Rooms	Entertainment	5/15/2006	(3)	8007
Some Really Great 99 cent Recession Busting Beers	Business	8/27/2009	(4)	1085
Some Really Great American Tastes	Food	12/16/2006	(1)	4103
Some Really Great Dating Tips	Feature